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Sunday, April 27, 2003
Dammit! ...this is the last week of college. After this week, I've gotta go back to my boring countrified life. I'm gonna be stuck at home by myself most of the time. I've gotta interact with my family and shit; which I really hate doing. At least I'll have surround sound and a big screen TV to play my games and DVDs on right? At least I'll be working at a movie theater...w/ the ability to watch all the blockbuster summer movies for free. At least I'll have a huge room all for myself ...w/ no one to direct my anger at but me. I think I like it here better: the total package. Although I don't like having a roommate, it's better than complete loneliness. I've got lots of friend here that I might not see ever again. With high school summer breaks, you knew you were going to see all the fuckers you hated or liked the next school year. With college summer breaks, there are no guarantees. I might not ever see my roommate again. I'm sure a lot of you people might think I'd enjoy the thought of that...but it sucks. I'm used to a stable non-changing environment. I'm thinking: so every year my ass has gotta adapt? Every year, everything gonna be completely different. Every beginning of college is gonna feel the same way....I'm thrown in this new environment, and I've gotta learn how to live in it. I might see my friends from the previous semester, I might not. That idea scares the hell outta me. I guess I never thought that was what college was gonna be about...well, dammit...now I know. At least I get to tell all my friends back at home all about it. Maybe that's the reason why so many of them are younger than me. None of them really have an older example to follow or not to follow. I'm gonna prepare 'em. I don't want them to go through some of the problems I went through. College - it just really sucks.
¶3:25 PM
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