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Monday, March 31, 2003
It's hard for me to maintain my old level of intensity I had in the room. When I see my roommate now, I don't get mad. I hate these new feelings of peace and tranquility. Him and I semi-bonded...SEMI. I feel like we're past that "small talk" level. It sucks that it took 6 months though. But oh well...I'm not gonna be that sad about it this Summer. HEY! --- Atleast I'm being honest here. I'm not. But now, I think whenever I see him (if I ever see him) after we depart...I'll speak to him. You know - say "what's up" and keep walking or whatever. I finished that paper yesterday, I'm so relieved. So fucking relieved. I can't stress the FUCKING in that statement enough. FUCKING ...fucking // FUCKING/. Well, now that that's out of my system; I've got a program to write, and some pussy to fuck. Okay, I'm somewhat not telling the truth about the "pussy to fuck" part ---> I'm working on that. They should offer a class on "ONE NIGHT STANDS" so us non-committment wanting guys can become educated in the art of one night stands. Plus, it could count as a humanities requirement. Uh...I'm outta here.
¶10:42 PM
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Sunday, March 30, 2003 Sorry kiddos. Big daddy has been busy for the last 2 days. I've got this history shit to do that's ...due tomorrow. Yeah baby, stress gives me instant boners. I can't concentrate on Nazism and the brutalization of the good ole' German army when I'm think about getting off. It's funny how Hitler went from being viewed as a great man w/ lots of personality, to being viewed -- AS GOD! Buahahaha. Those poor German bastards were corrupted and their reality was distorted. Woe is them. "Life vis guud." I'm not talking about present Germans of course...those guys are cool. Just talking about the Hitler-ized generation. Those were dumb fuckers. They're dumb stupid fuckers; and because of that, I am forced to write a 4-6 paged essay on the fools. Look what they caused to happen in American society. We have to read about their fuck ups over and over again, and ellaborate on the causes and effects. Think about it...if the Germans weren't so damned disillusioned back in the day, my life at the moment would be stress-free. No reading about dumb hitler-ized fucks. No stupid dumb Hitler-dictatorship. No erection. ¶3:14 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, March 29, 2003 Man...ON the weekends, I usually go to sleep around 5AM. And then wake up at 10:30AM to watch the Ninja Turtles. Looks like this weekend, I'm gonna have to get up and go downstairs to watch. But when I get back to my room, my roomy will still be asleep of course. I'm not really gonna be quiet. I'm gonna get back in my bed, and read. I will read the entire day. I will hope that I will finish this book tomorrow. ...:::I WILL BE THE KKKKING!::::.... ---buahahahaha! I will control everything. I have to piss now. Goodnight. ¶3:08 AM e-mail me (0) comments Friday, March 28, 2003 The following post is the most disgusting use of sarcasm ever. Viewer discretion is advised. Hooray! I'm stuck in my dorm room on a Friday night with nothing to do but sit in front of my computer and find things to look at. Yay! On top of that, I get to share this precious fun time with my roommate. Yay! I love this! ¶9:01 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, March 27, 2003 Ha! I didn't update this thing yesterday. Again, Ha! I had several rehearsals, and I accidently socialized with some friends that night. It was all fun and blah. That Linkin Park album is starting to get to me, which is a good thing. It's great being emotional. Right now, the songs on that album are on such a higher level than all the other 1600 songs I've got. I went to see the Cougar cheerleaders do their routine. You know, like the stuff on Bring IT On. They did all that crap, and they were cool stunts. I wouldn't have gone at first, but I've got a buddy in cheerleading so I showed some support. I should go out tonight. The history teacher extended the deadline for that book review to Monday, so I have 2 days to finish reading that damned book. Yeah, I'm going somewhere. I feel like talking about stuff. I'm tired of being in a room with someone I don't care to talk to 24/7. I'm a talker...I enjoy talking. I don't get the chance to talk in this room, and this MY ROOM. This is suppose to be the place where I'm most comfortable and secure and free from all that social stress. What the fuck ever. ¶8:18 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Well dammit. It's time to get started with my reading. I got a mandatory concert I've got to go to tonight, so that's going to lessen the amount of reading time I've got. It's not going to be anything in mainstream music; it's going to be classical music. I have nothing against classical music at all. I actually have all of Chopin's works and I'm planning on buying all of Bach's (which is a lot of shit). I have something against mandatory-gotta-be-there things. It disturbs me to be told to do something. And the reason the orchetra guy is making us go is so the performers will have a hefty audience. It's not right what he's going. He's taking advantage of his authority; it's blackmail! "If you don't go, I'll give you a bad grade." What a cool thing for him to do is simply tell us about it and ask us to come. I probably would came. But anyway, time to read Hitler's Army by Omer Bartov. I've got a day in a half to read it. ¶4:24 PM e-mail me (0) comments It's finally here: 
I bought it this morning around 12PM. Like the last two Linkin' Park albums, it's incredible. You can sample 3 of the new songs here. Get this album now. If you don't like Linkin' Park, FUCK YOU! ¶2:49 PM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, March 24, 2003 I have nothing to say...I got lots of stuff to do. It's the same old shit. Over and over and over and over again. My left eye always starts twitching when I start typing, I don't know why. I've been playing lots of video games. I made a couple of new friends, so that was cool. Everything's pretty shitty, that's about it. 1.5 months left before I'm getting the hell out of here. Can't hardly wait. Time to eat that add water Kraft macaroni and cheese stuff. That shit is so damn good. It's replaced a special place in my heart for romones noodles. I need to get out more. Maybe I should start getting drunk and going to clubs. Maybe I should start smoking pot. Maybe I need to start having crazy sex with lots of the available poontay on campus. I need to do something different. These routines I've been doing for the last 6 months are getting boring. SSDD. I'm sleepy, but I don't want to go to sleep yet. Screw sleep. Sleep is for pussies. And I'm not sexist, even though I compared sleeping early to pussies. Obviously, pussy doesn't sleep early. You know how when you sit on your ass or lay on your arm, it goes "to sleep"? Does the same thing happen to pussy when they are sat on? I'm curious. Yes, that was the whole reason why I made this post. To find out if pussy sleeps. Feel free to e-mail me answers. Adios. ¶11:07 PM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, March 23, 2003 Are you happy? ¶9:42 PM e-mail me (0) comments Still on that subject, I've snapped a couple of time in my lifetime. I attempted to run over one of my good friends. I've cussed out an entire family: from the parents, to the pre-teen daughter for giving me dirty looks. I've thrown rocks at someone's brand new car for embarrassing me. I've spread rumors to key people in high school that would spread it all around school: the rumor was that a girl ask this other girl out and was passionately in love. Although the rumor seems small, the girl found out and in the cafeteria and stormed out of there into the bathroom - crying. I don't go for cheap shots, I fuck up with my victims mentality. It's purely psychological. You will remember me. Am I crazy? No. At least I don't think so. I just have complete 180 mood swings. My friends at home understand that about me. I'm not just saying all this to look big and bad. It's a serious problem I've got. ¶3:13 PM e-mail me (0) comments This morning I was so mad at my roommate, but now everything has cooled down. I was gonna write about how I hate him, and I wish he was dead. That's how I felt this morning. Then I was gonna bitch about how I don't really hate him, it's just the little things he does that drives me crazy. Like most recently, leaving a banana on top of [my] microwave for about 2 weeks. Yesterday, when he was gone, juice started oozing out all over the top of the microwave. So I had to clean that bacteria carrying rot juice up before it oozed into the floor. It was disgusting. Like changing the toilet paper, and leaving the empty rolls in the floor. Like making koolaid over the sink, and spilling it all over the place. Then not bothering to clean it up. Like moving the room around so that I have to watch tv around his head; I also I have to get all in his area in order to play games. I DON'T WANT TO GO OVER THERE! Like leaving full newspapers in the floor of the bathroom. The bathroom isn't that big! We're in a dorm...the bathroom is small. Sometimes I feel like pissing all over 'em. Little things. I vowed at the beginning when we sort of introduced ourselves to not bitch at the little things; I'm still holding true to that agreement I made. There so miniscule that I shouldn't bring it up. But they are driving me crazy. Maybe because it's been going on for about 6 months now. These things he does are things I would never do. I clean up after my spills. I don't leave bananas on top of things until the innards liquify. I don't leave my alarm clock set to go off at 10AM when I'm gone for the weekend. I'm sure there's things I do that get on his nerves, but I don't give a fuck about that. All of the high expectations I had of him when we first talked are all gone to hell. There's no hope. I need a punching bag...I need to loose this tension before I do something I'll regret. As you can clearly see, I can't always control my emotions as good as I'd like. This appplies to everyone: when that small thing you do gets me over the edge, you better get the fuck away from me. ¶2:47 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, March 22, 2003 Just to have something to talk about... I don't care you shits stop reading my journal. I'm not going it for the hits, I'm doing it for my own personal satisfaction. But trust me ...I'm turning into somewhat of a Flash pro; I've got lots of shows in the works. I'm not going to discuss them because I don't want any of you fuckers stealing my ideas. Iraq can kiss my ass! ¶1:46 PM e-mail me (0) comments I've gotta read another freaking book for History. This one's about Hitler and shit. I got yet another 6 paged book review I've gotta do on it due Thursday. Yep...here goes the stress and anxiety. Time to get in a bad mood and block myself from the rest of the world. Time to say up late at night studying and trying to turn something shitty into perfection. Damn I hate this college cycle. It only gives you about a week of peace before the stress builds up once again. Come on May 6th...hurry the fuck up and get here so I can get out this hell. Thank god (that's right, I lowercased the 'g' in god) my roommate is gone for the weekend. ¶1:41 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, March 20, 2003 I turned my computer science program in ...ON TIME(!) finally. It took so many hours to do, but it's so many hours from perfection. Atleast I'll get a B. Because of this program, I've been neglecting English. So now I've gotta write an entire paper about a play that I haven't even read yet. It's due tomorrow. I'm not sweating it though; I like to think making good grades in the classes that deals with my major is more important than these little shit courses. Plus, I've been making B+'s on every fucking thing in my English class. But anyway, I'm gonna get to work now. Wish me luck. ¶7:26 PM e-mail me (0) comments Wednesday, March 19, 2003 I've been have some pretty strange dreams. Recently, when I sleep around here ...I wake up every hour, and then go back to sleep. Everytime I go back to sleep, I have a different dream. I'm not used to dreaming in the first place. Last night, two dreams stick out. First: I'm going to my famiy reunion with my dad. The family reunion is for my dad's side of the family. When we're almost there, there's this huge waterfall we have to cross. There's this amateur-made wooden bridge that goes across this grand canyon-ish waterfall. So my dad and I get to the end of this bridge, and there's a gate. Therer's this huge security numpad that sits in the middle of this metal wall. You can see a ladder just behind this gate (when you look above it), and there you can see the next level up. My dad enters in some code, the gate opens. He lets me go up first. So I step up this ladder slowly; all of a sudden this ladder snaps off and falls down on the wooden planks below. I get thrown across these wooden planks b/c of how forceful this ladder fell. I slide on my stomach for a seemingly eternity; I notice that I'm getting closer and closer to the edge of this bridge. If someone were to fall off, they would fall about a mile down into shallow water at the bottom of this huge waterfall. So yeah ...I'm panicing. fortunately, I stop just when my body would have went down; although my head is hanging off the side of this bridge. I look down, and I knew I was about to die. The thing that freaked me out is that ..I wanted to die. I saw this huge drop, and wondered "What would it be like to just jump off?" I woke up. Second: I'm in my dorm room. On top of my closet dresser, there's the tv. My and my roommate are watching Conan 'O brian show. Staind is on, talking about his music and shit. He's wearing this shirt that has all these fan signatures on it. On signature says exactly this, "You, you rock my world, you." My roommate sees this, and he get's all excited (not sexually). He starts shouting. I ask him what the hell are you shouting for? He says that thatI woke up/ ------ When I woke up, I almost started talking to my roommate as if we have always been friends. Of course it was late at night, and he was sleeping. But, to a friend it would matter. I almost did ..then I started freaking out, and thought, "My roommate doesn't seem like he likes Staind! How is that possible that he signed Staind shirt?" Then it clicked that it was only a dream, and I got sad. That dream symbolized how I wanted us to be at the beginning. It's not like that, so it seems like any interaction is such a waste (b/c I'm not going to remember what's discussed - aka small talk). ¶12:51 PM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, March 17, 2003 My computer science professor was talking about queues. Queues are ADT with two points of entry: a front and a rear. Today, she was talking about LinkedQueues, and this is what she said: "It has a rear that you always insert in." We all were cracking up. My friend beside ask, "I wonder if you'd need a condom?" Then...the professor wrote the words "front" and "rear" on the board. She had to erase some things she was drawing, and accidently erased "rear." This is what she said afterwords, "Whoops, I wiped out my rear." Now come on! You people gotta find that hilarious. This is coming from a professor in college. She had to have know that saying, "whoops, I wiped out my rear" didn't particularly sound right. She chose to say it anyway. Maybe I'm just immature. Top Story For Today: I am officially a Dragon Ball Z nut. Hooray! My roommate got headphones! I starting my computer science prorgam early for the first time ever. I'm not waiting until the day before like I usually do. I'm amazed. Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm not wearing green, and nobodys pinched me yet; not that I want to get pinched. ¶6:54 PM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, March 16, 2003 "Our goal is to stop terrorism and prevent weapons of mass destruction from getting into the hands of dictators." - Bush Finally! He says something intelligent to all nations. That makes sense. That is a good reason to go to war. Now I know that it's not this personal vendatta Bush has against Saudim Hussein for attempting to assasinate his father. This is a war against dictatorship. This is a war against selfish fuckers who want to control everybody, and create resources that are availble for terrorist like Osama bin Laden to use. I'm for war now. ¶2:08 PM e-mail me (0) comments There's a crisis here in my dorm. Everything who is something has been polluted with pubic hairs! Of course all of them aren't pubes...some are hair follicles from legs and head (but that's not funny). I look down at the floor, and I see so many pubes! From an amateurs perspective, you'd think that all of the blame goes to me. You are wrong my friend. Yes, my pubes are thicker and easier to see than my roommate's; however, somehow, when I take my books out of my bookbag, I see these thin little blonde strands everywhere! It disturbs me. How the hell does all of his hair get on and in all my crap? It's funny, I'm not mad or anything. The worst (!!!!!) is when I'm washing my face with my face towel, and then something gets in my mouth. I take my hand and get it out....and it's one his fucking! Disgusting! Disturbing! Dirty! Dinky! Just to think that something that fell off of his body got in my mouth! Fucking gross. ...and it's gotta happen at least 3 times a week. It's nasty! It's like his hair floats into the air and is magnetically attracted to my things (and my mouth). At least my pubes...when they come out, go straight down to the floor! I'm not mad...it's funny. But it's fucking gross! What? I've been suffering through about 6 months of this crap? What's that Billy? I got 2 more months!! ¶1:32 PM e-mail me (0) comments Small Talk. While thinking about some social problems of mine, I came to this conclusion: "Talking to someone doesn't have to mean anything" Duh! Why do I make such a huge deal over social interactions. I've been looking up at the ceiling thinking about this for the last 30 minutes. Just speaking to someone small-talk-ishly has about 20% substance. The other 80% is only a mutual awareness that the other person can speak. So in reality, it doesn't matter what the hell you talk about as long as there's an exchange of that awareness; knowing that the other person is potentially compatible with you. That's the secret of small talking, and that's the social ability that I lack. Now that I've created this personal defintion of what the hell it is, I can successful hold conversations with the simple people of the world. Small Talk == Complete Bullshit. ¶3:54 AM e-mail me (0) comments It's 2AM in the goddamn morning, and I'm sleepy as a motherfucker. It's funny how you can compare anything to a motherfucker. Have you ever thought about this shit? I'm hungrier than a motherfucker. I'm hornier than a motherfucker. "Hey Billy, you're taller than a motherfucker!" .....with a huge smile, Billy replies, "Thanks mom." She's nastier than a motherfucker. What the fuck is a motherfucker? I wonder how this word was created. We'll just assume the word "fucker" was already made. So all of a sudden there's this guy that goes around screwing mothers. I guess someone put two and two together and made motherfucker. Or maybe someone was making fun of someone else, and thought calling him a motherfucker was the king of insults. Saying something is __[insert adjective]__ than a motherfucker is dumber than a motherfucker. But that's not the point I'm trying to make here. I have nothing against motherfuckers (because I really don't know what the fuck a mother-fucker is). How would you insult a motherfucker? Would you call a motherfucker a fatherfucker to fuck with their heteoro-ness? Why does saying motherfucker sound more politically correct than fatherfucker? I guess it just rolls off the tongue more smoothly. M-o-t-h-e-r-f-u-c-k-e-r. "Mmmmmmm". What if ego waffles were called motherfuckers? Would you still eat them? Instead of saying lego my ego, you'd say "Lego my motherfucker." And now they've got that cream filled ego waffle. So they would be ...cream filled motherfuckers. There's something badass about saying motherfuckers. It smooth. Okay, the way I'm saying it in my head is ...."MOTHA FUCKAH" just to clear things up. Read over this post pronouncing it "mothafuckah" and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's my motherfucking bedtime ....whoa!!!!!! I said motherfucking. That's different! I'll discuss that some other time. Goodnight. ¶2:23 AM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, March 15, 2003 Time to watch the movie "Seven" for the first time in my life. I bought it, it's here, I'm bored, I'll watch. Super Monkey Ball 2 is fun, but it's hard as hell! This game is marketed for kids, but it's way too complex for their little minds. I'm stuck; this puzzle is just too hard, lol. I'm gonna order pizza tonight, and relax. I need to study some Computer Science crapl; I need to figure out how to do IOExceptions, and get a better understanding of Abstract Data Types (ie - lists, stacks, queues). Lots of stuff to do, so little time. That's the story of my life. ¶4:26 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, March 13, 2003 I really really need to be alone right now. Privacy is no where to be found. I hate this. I want this college year to be over so I can enjoy being by myself in my room. I'm just feeling really unstable right now, and I don't want to interact with people. Seeing how I've got a roommate, it's kind of hard. On top of that, it's hot as fuck in my room. They still have the heat on in the dorm, and it's in the mid-70s outside! I hate this stupid shit. I want to play video games, but I don't want someone else in the room while I play. I don't know why! Stop asking me. When playing a video game, especially an adventure game like Zelda, I want everything else around me to be blocked out. It's kind of hard to do that when someone's playing shitty music in the background, or when dumb stupid fuckers are hollering outside. I can only be sugar coated for so long before I start being my old brutally-honest self again. I don't like being so opinionated like I am, but it makes me uncormfortable not to be able to share them with people I'm "supposed" to interact with on a daily basis. And I'm always thinking someone is watching what I'm doing, or reading what I'm typing over my shoulder. There's no privacy. I am one paranoid motherfucker. I should stop caring so damn much. My peripheral vision is just too good! (marching band has made me a peripheral vision guru) I'm glad I'm writing these thoughts down somewhere, because I don't think I could hold them all in for too long without exploding. ¶2:30 PM e-mail me (0) comments (Talking to my friend T.) The moment when I'm talking to someone, and realize "Hey! he/she's not getting frightened away" is the moment when I know I've made a very good friend. ¶2:05 AM e-mail me (0) comments Check out my buddy Matt's site: click here ...he's a cool guy. Great trombone player. ¶1:55 AM e-mail me (0) comments Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Bill: long week Me: must have been. Me: damn! It's only Wednesday! Bill: if you only knew ...drammatic pause... Bill: monday was a long week ¶8:44 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, March 11, 2003 Damn Damn. I hate studying so much. It's more satanic than satan. It's more hellish than hell. [yawn...sorry] It's harder than my morning boner. It sucks more than a $2 crack whore. It makes me feel crappier than taking a dump. Damn I can't think of anything else... It's around 10PM, and I haven't even started. I've been watching American Idol; I'm so impressed by the competition this year! There are so many singers this year that sing a hell of a lot better than last year's American Idol. Kelly Clarkson, who the fuck is that now? Where the hell is her follow up single? SHE A NOBODY now, compared to these new "idols." Yeah! I watch the show...what's it to ya? There's nothing else on. But that's besides the point (and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson's nose). I should be studying right now, but I insist on typing this post to further waste my time. What the hell wrong with me? Goddammit. And fuck you people who think I shouldn't say goddammit! Fuck you goddammit. Goddamned double standard Christian hypocrits! You know what I'm about to do? I'm about to watch The Real World right now..damn it. Why can't I say no to myself? ¶10:00 PM e-mail me (0) comments Time to study :-( ¶3:53 PM e-mail me (0) comments www.asksnoop.com ¶12:19 AM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, March 10, 2003 Let's have a moment of silence for my old faithful controller ...w/ all it's indigo clear glory: 
I'm very gentle with my controllers, and now after letting "other people" use it...they have destroyed it's legacy. The analog stick is so fucking loose now. Why do people insist on holding my controller with firm grips??? I'm not just talking about my roommate, everyone who has ever played on my controllers have fucked them up. It's sad. The analog stick becomes loose. Maybe they're use to using a PS2's controller or something. Now I'm left with my wavebird. I'm never letting anyone use that controller, but me. Fuck you. ¶9:19 PM e-mail me (0) comments ...check, 1 2 3 ¶8:45 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm sad. Here's a copy of a conversation I was having with a friend..it's pretty one sided: me: yeah. well, that's zorac me: zorax me: brak is the think in the blue/black uniform me: omg! it's actually funny tonight. they must have new writers. 12:20 AM me: dammit! i gotta laugh softly b/c my roomy's sleeping. me: he sleeps until 1AM everyday, so why go to bed so early. Does a human being really need 11 hours of sleep everyday? me: i think not. that only means one thing... me: HE'S NOT HUMAN! He's a new breed in terrorism. It's knows as alien terrorism...tons of flying aliens come down and contaminate dorms with there terrorist teenagers. they then sleep 11 hours daily to purposely piss off their roommates! me: he must be apprehended. he must pay. he must ...DIE! me: buhahaha me: alien terrorist... fear me, for I am ...anti-alien counter terrorist man! ¶12:33 AM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, March 09, 2003 I'm finally working on my Flash animation projects. I got some free time. The're going to be crap, but who cares. I got drunk on my birthday, blah blah blah ["blah blah blah" meaning I threw up a couple of times]. The following night, I went to a party. There was this girl who lived in the house across from us, and she jumped out of her damn window! It was freezing, and she wasn't wearing much of anything. On the back of her sweat pants, it read - "JUICY". It was pretty swollen from my point of view. We were on a balcony, and were shouting, "Show your tits" over and over again. She didn't show us anything but her juicy ass. Of course, she was a drunk white girl; if I had my camcorder I would have definitely made a movie a put it up on my site. I can't wait until I buy one, buhaha; you guys are gonna love some of the things I see. I'm 19, so that's okay. 19 really isn't anything special; it's more depressing than cool. Damn...whoops, random cussing. I'm settled back in my dorm room now. I put all my crap up, and cleaned up in the bathroom a little. Okay...let me talk about that party somemore (not my "birthday party")... At this party, there was som crazy people doing some pretty crazy shit. I thought I was watching JackAss! I'll just tell you about one thing I witnessed. These guys started asking each other to make themselve throw up (by sticking their fingers down their throats), and then they wanted to take pictures of it. How fucked up is that shit? It's pretty fucked up Keddaris. So they were on this balcony throwing up over the rail! There's something disturbing about that. This one guy threw up out of his nose, which takes some serious skills. Of course, they were drunk white guys. Yeah, stereotyping is a pain in the ass sometimes. A lot of college students associate getting drunk with craziness...so, they automatically think they should do something crazy. It's pretty disappointing when people conform. Me on the other hand wasn't trying to get drunk. I was playing this drinking game, and the drunkiness snuck up on me! I was sober, and then a split second later I was telling this girl some I've got a crush on her (not to mention I was throwing up all over the place). Yep, I disappointted myself - but I had fun. Getting drunk isn't something I'm proud of doing. you can ask all my friends! I don't ever go to parties, and I don't ever encourage drinking. Those are two things I'm proud of, not drinking. I don't need to drink to socialize, I just need to get sleepy. Sleepiness has the same effect on me (I think I've said that before in the past on this thing). Most of the time I do not ever want to socialize with another human being. It's not that I don't like to, it's just I think sometimes it's a waste of time. So for me, drinking just to loosen up and socialize is a waste of my motherfucking time. It's as simple as that. ¶5:23 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm finally working on my Flash animation projects. I got some free time. The're going to be crap, but who cares. I got drunk on my birthday, blah blah blah ["blah blah blah" meaning I threw up a couple of times]. The following night, I went to a party. There was this girl who lived in the house across from us, and she jumped out of her damn window! It was freezing, and she wasn't wearing much of anything. On the back of her sweat pants, it read - "JUICY". It was pretty swollen from my point of view. We were on a balcony, and were shouting, "Show your tits" over and over again. She didn't show us anything but her juicy ass. Of course, she was a drunk white girl; if I had my camcorder I would have definitely made a movie a put it up on my site. I can't wait until I buy one, buhaha; you guys are gonna love some of the things I see. I'm 19, so that's okay. 19 really isn't anything special; it's more depressing than cool. Damn...whoops, random cussing. I'm settled back in my dorm room now. I put all my crap up, and cleaned up in the bathroom a little. Okay...let me talk about that party somemore (not my "birthday party")... At this party, there was som crazy people doing some pretty crazy shit. I thought I was watching JackAss! I'll just tell you about one thing I witnessed. These guys started asking each other to make themselve throw up (by sticking their fingers down their throats), and then they wanted to take pictures of it. How fucked up is that shit? It's pretty fucked up Keddaris. So they were on this balcony throwing up over the rail! There's something disturbing about that. This one guy threw up out of his nose, which takes some serious skills. Of course, they were drunk white guys. Yeah, stereotyping is a pain in the ass sometimes. A lot of college students associate getting drunk with craziness...so, they automatically think they should do something crazy. It's pretty disappointing when people conform. Me on the other hand wasn't trying to get drunk. I was playing this drinking game, and the drunkiness snuck up on me! I was sober, and then a split second later I was telling this girl some I've got a crush on her (not to mention I was throwing up all over the place). Yep, I disappointted myself - but I had fun. Getting drunk isn't something I'm proud of doing. you can ask all my friends! I don't ever go to parties, and I don't ever encourage drinking. Those are two things I'm proud of, not drinking. I don't need to drink to socialize, I just need to get sleepy. Sleepiness has the same effect on me (I think I've said that before in the past on this thing). Most of the time I do not ever want to socialize with another human being. It's not that I don't like to, it's just I think sometimes it's a waste of time. So for me, drinking just to loosen up and socialize is a waste of my motherfucking time. It's as simple as that. ¶5:23 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, March 04, 2003 I honestly add fun tonight. It didn't start off right. My parents took me to Ryan's for dinner. If you've never heard of a Ryan's, I'll break it down for ya: it's a cheap place where cheap people go to, and it sells cheap food. I really hate going there! The people are so sad looking (not that i'm stereotyping or anything ...I never do that [sarcasm]). That was pretty rough, and I'm not just talking about the food. Afterwards, I really wanted to go to the movies. I was the kind of mood when you want to go somewhere, but you don't feel like going anywhere. That's the best way I can describe it. I grabbed a paddle and whacked it across my ass several times (figuratively speaking), forcing myself to go. I went to see Cradle 2 The Grave. Great kick ass movie; you will not get disappointed. DMX's acting is a little Beverly Hills 90210 (instead of The Practice) material, but he's getting a lot better. He's finally learning that anyone can be a good actor, you just gotta make sure the character is right for you (just look at Eminem in 8 Mile). DMX finally found that character, and did okay. Jet Li isn't known for his acting skills, but he's known for giving good ass-kicking; he does a lot of it in this movie. BLAH BLAH!!! Whoops, I got off subject. I saw all my movie coworker buddies, and rediscovered somewhere I belong. Being at home is getting a little better. The minute I get comfortable being back at home is when it's time to get thrown back in Charleston. ¶2:14 AM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, March 03, 2003 Like always, home sucks. It doesn't suck as much as College Lodge (my dorm), but it's at a level of suckiness that's worth mentioning. I was suppose to go to the doctor's office today at 2:30, but I could find the damn place! So instead, I when to MacDonald's and came back home. While it's Spring Break for me, it's not for all my friends. They're all in school/classes all day so what the hell am I suppose to do? My parent's want to take me out to dinner, but I've already ate and I don't feel like going anywhere. Fun...that's all I want. Maybe I'll do to the movies tonight all by myself and have a good time watching something. That always makes me happy. Tomorrow I've talked myself into going to Tigergra. It's a madi gra-like thing that's going to be happening on the Clemson campus. I've got a buddy there, so I won't be alone. I sort of don't want to go though. I would prefer a small little group of people I'm comfortable around, rather than thousands of people I don't know anything about. I never learned how to interact in an environment like that, and I have no desire to start. But I really want to hang out with this friend of mine, so I guess I can sacrifice my comfort for some quality friendship time. Meanwhile.... I've got this huge bump on my ass. I think it's a mosquito bite, but it's bigger. Maybe it's a spider bite. It appeared last Saturday morning. That friday night, I slept in the nude (like I always did before I got a fucking roommate), and an insect or something must have been under the sheets. At first I thought it was a hemorrhoid; I've never had that before so maybe that's was I got. I was under a lot of stress last week, so maybe a hemorrhoid was a result. Then...I thought, "A hemorrhoid would be closer (if not in) to your ass crack." This thing is above my right thigh, a little under my right butt cheek. It's close to my crack (naturally anything on your ass is close to it), but it doesn't seem like it's a hemorrhoid. So when I feel it, it feels like a mosquito bite. Apparently, there is some kind of juice right underneath my skin because when I push it in...the bump is split into two halves. It must be some kind of insect bite. I told my mom...and she said, "Is it hepatitis?" That really offended me. She thinks that I'm sexually active first of all; second of all, she thinks I'm doing something sexually with my ass that would give me an STD. I'll sum it up for you; by simply saying, "Is it hepatitis?" after I told her that it was on my ass ....she is inferring that I'm doing some unprotected homosexual act with my ass. I got so offended that she would think that. I don't want to talk to her for a while. I'm a straight guy with a homophobe mom. Like always, home sucks. So...I gotta go now. I think my mom is here, which means we're going to eat somewhere. My next Spring Break is going to be the complete opposite of this. I hope my friends pressure me into doing some crazy stuff. I just want that MTV-ish Spring Break everyone else seems to be having. But, my ideal Spring Break would simply consist of a full week of doing nothing. Nothing at all. Doing nothing [and ignorance] is bliss ¶6:03 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, March 01, 2003 wow. The games were pretty good. I had to play at both the girl's game, and the guy's game. The girls sucked ass like usual. In opposition, the guys kicked ass. So the two groups are doing damn good (two meaning one of course). I saw my parents at the game. They in on the trombone section talking about uh, this credit system; you're suppose tally up how many sex partners you've had (and they're called credits) in this intricate manner, and then there's a limit to how many credits you can have. It's pretty much a way to make sure you don't turn into a manslut, or a slut. A couple of blahs blahs later, my dad sits behind us and is like "What's up?" I freeeeeeaked (trust me, I spelled that right). I popped the bench, and told my section this family while waving my hands air signaling for them to shut the hell up for a moment. Everyone cracking up. And escorted my parent far far away from the conversation. "What? What were ya'll talking about?" my mom said. I was honest...and told them we were talking about naughty things that parents should hear their son/daughter talk about. It was cool though. They sat above us and to the right, so they didn't really see me throughout the entire game. The stadium was packed! (I'm talking about the boy's game here. The women's game only had about 50 people to attend, as opposed to the 500-700+ people at the men's game.) I'm watching MadTV right now ...of course. 3 days. That's all the spring breaking gonna get. I'm a little pissed off at that shit. I'll probably go to the movies a couple of times, and then just sit around the house. Damn I need some chapstick. I'm gonna try and read more shit to bring up my grades. They're all good you know: A, B, B+, C+, null. That's okay, but I'm not happy with them. I need straights dammit! I'm so used to making all A's. My 3.15 GPA is in jeopardy. My goal is to make the dean's list, but I need to make a 3.8! That's impossible shit to do, but I've got to do or in my mind, I haven't learned anything. College for me is all about learning as much as possible and do good in school. It's not to do drugs, spend my days sleeping all fucking day, or going out partying. HAHAHAH! Funny shit. MadTV is funny shit. HAHAHAHA! Sorry, I tend to type what I'm saying outloud. hahahaha, oh my god. It should be illegal to make someone laugh so much that the stop breathing for about 10 seconds. That's a health hazard. I can't wait to see that movie about the guy that controls rats! That's crazy shit! Here's a link to the trailer: Willard. It's amazing how movies are starting to just be about anything. If you have any ideas now, no matter how crazy they may seem ...it could the next big thing. Only in America. I gotta clean my fucking side of the room now. Nah! I'll do it in the morning. Fuck that. I'm gonna read The Bourne Supremacy until I fall asleep. Peace. ¶11:49 PM e-mail me (0) comments No more! Hell yeah! I'm passing all my subjects (and that's all the info I'm telling you asses). I wish I could have done better (hint hint). Roommate's gone; since I leave sunday morning, that gives me two solid nights of privacy before I go home (lots of fun). I'm leaving Sunday before 12PM some time, so I should be back home around 4:30PM. I'll be sure to call all my friends when I get there ...don't get mad if I don't. I watched The Matrix again; I've seen it so many times that I lost count. I can't wait until May. I'll be working, and I get to see that shit as many times as I want ...for free!!! buhahahaha you bastards. Then i get to see X-Men 2 as many times as I want ...for free!! buhahahaha you bastards. And this cycle is repeated about 7 times because that's about how many box office smash movies that are going to come out this Summer. Damn that's sad. I'm already preparing for the Summer, and it's so far away. I'm all depressed now. Dammit. Dammit. And my Ocarina of Time Master Quest hasn't came in the mail yet!!!!! I want to save Zelda again; that bitch is too lazy to get out of that damned castle for herself. Have you been watching the progression of movies lately??? Women are all starting to kick ass. This plague first appeared in video games; they would make the women characters more powerful and harder to beat. Now movies are getting infected by this cancer. Zelda needs to conform, with her dumbass. Get with the times bitch. It's pretty late.....2:24AM, I got two basketball games to perform at tomorrow and I need lots of strength for tomorrow night (buhahahaha). Goodnight. ¶2:25 AM e-mail me (0) comments No more! Hell yeah! I'm passing all my subjects (and that's all the info I'm telling you asses). I wish I could have done better (hint hint). Roommate's gone; since I left sunday morning, that gives me two solid nights of privacy before I go home (lots of fun). I'm leaving Sunday before 12AM some time, so I should be back home around 4:30. I'll be sure to call all my friends when I get there ...don't get mad if I don't. I watched The Matrix again; I've seen it so many times that I lost count. I can't wait until May. I'll be working, and I get to see that shit as many times as I want ...for free!!! buhahahaha you bastards. Then i get to see X-Men 2 as many times as I want ...for free!! buhahahaha you bastards. And this cycle is repeated about 7 times because that's about how many box office smash movies that are going to come out this Summer. Damn that's sad. I'm already preparing for the Summer, and it's so far away. I'm all depressed now. Dammit. Dammit. And my Ocarina of Time Master Quest hasn't came in the mail yet!!!!! I want to save Zelda again; that bitch is too lazy to get out of that damned castle for herself. Have you been watching the progression of movies lately??? Women are all starting to kick ass. This plague first appeared in video games; they would make the women characters more powerful and harder to beat. Now movies are getting infected by this cancer. Zelda needs to conform, with her dumbass. Get with the times bitch. It's pretty late.....2:24AM, I got a two basketball games to perform at tomorrow and I need lots of strength for tomorrow night (buhahahaha). Goodnight. ¶2:25 AM e-mail me (0) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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