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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
I feel so fucking empty. Yeah, I know it sounds wierd. You know that saying: either you see the glass half full, half empty? I feel like my glass (symbolizing my happiness, my patience, my rational thinking, and my tolerance for other people's differences) is half empty. I don't want to study for my History exam, I don't want to be at this fucking college any longer, I'm so fucking tired of my roommate, I tired of being nice all the time ....everything is really shitty to me now. I discovered the moment of impact too - when all of this shit started working up inside me again. It was 1:00PM today when my roommate showed up again. There I was, alone for the last 3 days. I've never been happier in this shitty dorm as much as I have in the last 3 days. The moment I saw my roommate's face, that's the moment when I stopped think that my glass is half full, and started thinking my glass is half empty. My problems aren't even from inseccurities anymore. I fucking love who I am now...I'm totally comfortable with me now. Just ...I'm discovering that my happiness correlates with my surrounding environment. It only takes one thing in my world to be a little off, then(!) ...I'm in a shitty mood and I hate everybody. Right now, I fucking hate everybody. Because this change is a direct reaction to seeing my roommate's face today at 1PM, I blame it all on him.
The moment I see him back is the moment I realize I'm gonna have to put my happy face back on and be this neutral laid back guy. I'm not a laid back guy! I have opinions, I have a fucking backbone ...most of the time, I'm not happy. I'm a fucking human being! Hippies are not human beings. They deprive themselves from all the emotions they are capable of achieving. That hippy mentality pisses me off so much! It's not realistic....it appears so fucking fake to me. I will surely be glad when this is over Saturday night because I'm tired of writing about this stupid shit. Why are you writing about it if you're tired of writing about it? Because this is a fucking journal! I'm writing down my thoughts. I can't help but think of this, since it's effecting me to such a high degree. I swear! It's worst than High School. ¶11:47 PM e-mail me (0) comments 
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I had the tv. but I can't enjoy playing my game when I can see someone in the corner of my eye who's bored as shit! Great ...so now you're giving me the guilt trip. Shit! I just couldn't enjoy it. So when I'm "using" the tv I feel guilty, and when he hogs it I get angry. what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm too nice. I care about other people's happiness even if they piss me the fuck off! Maybe I need to listen to more Eminem. ¶7:52 PM e-mail me (0) comments Goddammit! Looks like I'm missing Yu Yu Hakosu once again because of my roommate watching tv. I fucking swear, it pisses me off so much. The anger is making me sweat. You know when the next time I can see these episodes again is? Probably next July or August. Knowing that just pisses me off even more. First, I miss pretty much the entire season of ABC's The Practice, then I miss pretty much all episodes of Inuyasha, now I've missed so much of Yu Yu Hakosho. Not to mention I miss Friends almost every fucking Thursday. Thank god I still get to see 24. It pisses me off because they only play about 60% of the shows they showed during the season, so there's some episodes that I will never ever see. All thanks, to my roommate. I don't ask for much, and this is only a handful of television shows! Fuck! I'm never ever gonna get roomed with a complete stranger ever again, so that's good. There's so much you've gotta sacrifice when your roommate doesn't like the same things you like ...or when he's not as passionate for television as you. Oh yes, the college experience sucks so much fucking dick. Hmmm, watching tv for 5 hours straight now?! Amazing. ¶5:55 PM e-mail me (0) comments You know what? Forget everything I've said about me potentially missing my roommate. I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. I'm not gonna miss this fucking shit I have to deal with. I'm craving playing some video games, but I can't. I hate not being able to do what I want to do at anytime. I FUCKING HATE THAT. I'm not gonna miss that at all. Just 3 more days Keddaris. OK...so I've gotta get through 3 days of not looking at tv? Well, it could be worst! What if I didn't have my iBook here to entertain me? I would probably freak out and going on a killing spree. Metaphorically speaking of course [partial sarcasm]. ¶5:35 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm running out of distractions... No more TV to watch continuously, no more video games. So what can I do to distract me now? I guess I could work on my program some, or update this site....or STUDY!!!!! ....NOOOOOOOO!!! Shit. ¶1:13 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, April 29, 2003 AppleMusic.COM New iPods There's also a new version of iTunes. ITunes 4. I love my mac. I SERIOUSLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU WINDOWS USERS. ¶2:58 AM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, April 28, 2003 Hmmm ...today, I went to the back and got some cash. I bought Ikaruga and Golden Sun: The Lost Age I just ordered some pizza, and now I'm chilin here watching some good old MTV. Yep...Today was a great day. If you think this post sucked or this entire site sucks, email me and tell me. If I don't get any mail ...I'll assume I'm writing good shit. I don't feel like writing about anything. Of course my world is kind of hellish; with exams and all. I don't know ...fuck you. ¶10:02 PM e-mail me (0) comments Nooooooooo! For some reaon...I feel like an adult now? What the fuck! I'm sitting at my desk trying to scrap together an English essay for my exam tomorrow...at some moment, I fucking changed. I feel so accomplished...well, I just feel so fucking tired of worrying about things. Stress isn't really there anymore. I know I'll get the work done, so why should I worry about failure? So does that mean ...to be an adult, you musy not worry so much about failure? Is what separates an adult from a young adult the level of anxiety one gets from the risk of failure? I have no fucking idea. But I've stopped worrying so damn much about exams, and all of a sudden I feel adultish. I have no fucking worries! I know I'm gonna make at least a B on everything. Like I've said before, I'm one smart motherfucker. Just fuck it...worrying about shit like grades isn't necessary. Whatever you get is what you get - and I fucking know it'll be above average. It's gonna be above average. It's just not in my nature to make C's or lower. Wow... wow wow. DOOKIE!!!!!! ¶12:19 AM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, April 27, 2003 And here comes the stress. ¶5:14 PM e-mail me (0) comments Dammit! ...this is the last week of college. After this week, I've gotta go back to my boring countrified life. I'm gonna be stuck at home by myself most of the time. I've gotta interact with my family and shit; which I really hate doing. At least I'll have surround sound and a big screen TV to play my games and DVDs on right? At least I'll be working at a movie theater...w/ the ability to watch all the blockbuster summer movies for free. At least I'll have a huge room all for myself ...w/ no one to direct my anger at but me. I think I like it here better: the total package. Although I don't like having a roommate, it's better than complete loneliness. I've got lots of friend here that I might not see ever again. With high school summer breaks, you knew you were going to see all the fuckers you hated or liked the next school year. With college summer breaks, there are no guarantees. I might not ever see my roommate again. I'm sure a lot of you people might think I'd enjoy the thought of that...but it sucks. I'm used to a stable non-changing environment. I'm thinking: so every year my ass has gotta adapt? Every year, everything gonna be completely different. Every beginning of college is gonna feel the same way....I'm thrown in this new environment, and I've gotta learn how to live in it. I might see my friends from the previous semester, I might not. That idea scares the hell outta me. I guess I never thought that was what college was gonna be about...well, dammit...now I know. At least I get to tell all my friends back at home all about it. Maybe that's the reason why so many of them are younger than me. None of them really have an older example to follow or not to follow. I'm gonna prepare 'em. I don't want them to go through some of the problems I went through. College - it just really sucks. ¶3:25 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, April 26, 2003 I put The Matrix Soundtrack in my File Sharing folder. Just to make it legal (buahahaha) ...I'm sharing these files with myself. Whenever I go somewhere and I don't have access to these files, I'll just download them from this site. Since I have a legal copy of the material, it's legal for me to provide these files online for me. Whoever takes advantage of that section and downloads those files are breaking the law. You all should be prosecuted. Thank you, and enjoy. ¶8:51 PM e-mail me (0) comments HandJob. (I was thinking about that for a minute.) ...... So Billy, what do you do for a living? Well, I go around looking for handjobs mostly. Wha - What? ...Really? Yeah...usually on the weekends. Uh...How do you make money doing that! I've got an agent who sets up these auditions on the weekend. If I think it's a good deal........score!!!!! Dude, isn't that illegal? No man. Why the hell would that be illegal? You're going around looking for handjobs...so....you've got a friend who goes around looking for prostitues you can audition on the weekends? Prostitution isn't cool. You could catch... You dumbass...I'm a hand model. ¶8:32 PM e-mail me (0) comments Friday, April 25, 2003 "I married the perfect whore.... Ruined her, with love and matrimony." -- David Alan Grier ¶10:38 PM e-mail me (0) comments You know what makes life worth living? Boredom ¶5:23 PM e-mail me (0) comments Last night was pretty fun. Fuck, the whole day was fun! It all started with my roommate letting me watch Rudy. He told me it was a must-see, so I decided to check it out. It was a great movie...it didn't make me cry at the end because of how predictable it was, but it made me so incredibly happy! I was happy? The one movie that had me sobbing like a black bitch who got her weaved pulled out was A Beautiful Mind. Yeah....it's pretty hard for me to admit that I cried, but whatever. The happiness I obtained from watching A Beautiful Mind was like Rudy to the 10th power. Anyway, I watched that movie, and that kicked the day off right (even though it was 9PM when I was done watching it). Before that, I had gone over my friend's dorm and ate pizza ...played spades ...and moderately talked to people. My stomach was pretty full. After Rudy ended, another one of my friends IM-ed me. blah blah blah I grabbed the movie Memento and headed over to his place. We met up with some of his friends, and everyone went to the cafeteria. They were having a midnight breakfast thing. Tom make a long story short: ....we spun a nickel on the table, and slammed the pepper shaker on top of it. The nickel busted through the bottom of the shaker. We placed the shaker on a table nearby. Some people sat down, and the then we waited. We wanted someone to use the pepper shaker so it would of course spill out all over the place. So eventually, this guy got the pepper shake...he lifted it up, and the pepper was spilling out! he didn't even realize it until after he had moved the pepper shaker all over the fucking table, and in his lap! He's friends were like - "Whoa ..man(!) look!!" They bugged out. We laughed our asses off. Good times/ Anyway, After that ..we got some ice-cream cones and filled them with grits! Like 4 cones. We took those cones outside, and we threw those bitches up at a nearby dorm! There were some people just chilin and they got clobbered. They weren't strangers or anything...those people knew each other. I only knew a couple of people. We freaked out when we saw a cop car just across the street from us. We thought he was flashing his lights because of us....fortunately, there was a car accident (I caught that joke there...well it's funny to me!). So we hung out in front of the cafeteria for about an hour. Everyone I was hanging out with were all Frat brothers (and there was this one girl), so they had an obviously bond. I just listened and made the best of it. Anyway, I went back to my friends place ...and we worked on his program some (Java programming is the #1 favorite pastime for computer science majors) ...and then we watched Memento. It was 5AM when it was all over. Captain Planet was on!!!!! That's the shit. We watched that...and then went to sleep. It was about 6AM and the sun was already rising. All in all, it was a great night. I socialized, I ate lots and lots of bacon, we created the all new "Grit-flavored ice-cream", and I didn't talk talk myself out of leaving. Usually, being around large groups of people scare me, and I cower away like a gigantic pussy (inside joke). ¶4:15 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, April 24, 2003 I'm still sleepy... Things are pretty different now. Now that classes are over, I'm not stressed out at all. Of course I still have hours and hours of studying to look forward to (bc of exams)...yeah, that's gonna drain a lot of my energy. But, I'm gonna postpone studying until Sunday. I've got an English exam Monday at 12PM-3, a Computer Science exam May 2 12PM-3, and finally the dreadful History exam Saturday May 3rd. History is going to kick my motherfucking ass. It's going to be awful. To prepare for my history exam, I've gotta master 5 essay questions beforehand...go in there Saturday, and just write for 3 fucking hours straight. I've got to memorize so many historical facts and locations...I'm literally semi-suicidal just thinking about it. So that's what I got to look forward to in the next week. Like I've said before on this post, "I guess you gotta go through a little hell before you reach paradise." Paradise... It's so close to getting here, yet it's so far away. The closer May 4th (the day I'm leaving) gets here, the harder it's gonna get. A history exam right before May 4th. What a great way to end your first year of college. But whatever... I'm gonna just chill out for a while, and create a program. Don't think I haven't forgot about working Flash animations! I am... just not now. Life is sort of good. Emphasis on "sort of." You know? Everything is working out for you, but there layers of bullshit you've gotta dig through first. My GPA at the moment is 3.2, but I've had to endure through all the studying. I've had to wake up at the same fucking time every morning and get lectured to for 4 hours straight. It's hard to stay focused for that long. I've met incredible people; however, for every person I've befriended...there was about 4-6 people I've had to push the fuck out of the way because they were dumbasses. But whatever...that's the thing I say: "whatever" (!) I guess in the long run it'll make me a better person. I'm hungry now --- later. ¶1:44 PM e-mail me (0) comments Wednesday, April 23, 2003 It just doesn't feel right to drink beer on Wednesday...call me "a complete idiot" if you want. ¶8:00 PM e-mail me (0) comments It's sort of over now. Classes were officially over for me at 1:50PM today. Was I happy? Fuck yeah! So when I got out of class...I got some food, and then got my bicycle out and rode to the barber shop. I've got a nicely groomed head. I didn't bring any cash with me to the barber shop, so I figured they'd except debit cards. A majority of the barber shops back in my area did, and most of the small businesses around here did as well. It's a logical assumption right? Well, they didn't except debit cards. I was panicking for a moment, because it's a 10-15 minute bike ride to and from the barber shop; It was so hot out there. The barber was cool about it, and told me, "I see you around here a lot, so you can just pay me next time you see me." That was cool. Anyway....after getting a haircut, I decided to ride my bike around Charleston a little bit. It was very fun....uh, up until barely getting hit by cars at every intersection! There are a lot of crazy inconsiderate people in the world. The more time I spend outside my "semi safe zone" (semi because I've got a roommate), the more time I need to spend inside to recuperate. So as for the bike ride, I freaked out several times. Charleston has so many streets to get lost on; what always helps is....if you ride in a certain direction (east) long enough, you'll get to King St - from there, you can find your way back from anywhere. It's funny how after almost a year of living here in Charleston, I still don't know where the fuck I am. So I eventually found my way back (it was around 4:45). I was pretty damn sweaty - for the first time since uh, High School (?) I had a workout. I immediately changed my clothes and got into something more comfortable ...then I got some more grub. Yep....it was a great day - last day of classes, haircut, bike ride, near crashes into cars, and lots of sweating. It's not normal for me to be this happy and confident; something's gonna fuck it up...just you wait. ¶6:56 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, April 22, 2003 ...In less than 2 fucking weeks, I'm outta here. I've got a paper to write for tomorrow, and a group project thing to do. Oh yeah! AND TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF CLASSES! Which means that next week, I'll be crammed up all day in my room w/ more of my privacy diminished. I guess you gotta go through a little hell before you reach paradise. Hell! Hell...! ¶5:34 PM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, April 21, 2003 Thousands Of Free Essays! That's the best free-essay site I could find. It was the only one that got me concisive results. You have to submit your own essay of course, but this is by far ....the best free essay site out there. I dare you to find one that's better. (Wondering why I would look for a site like that? Well, I'm tired of writing these fucking english papers, so I'm not going to this time.) ¶11:59 PM e-mail me (0) comments The MAtrixQ!!!1asd;klfja;sdf;waeif The MAtrix!!! Af;lkaje;roiasd I NEED TRINITY IN MY BED RIGHT NOW SO SHE CAN break the rules of luv. Think about this: what if in these new Matrix movies, Neo and Trinity's got a sex scene. What do you get when you combine "bullet time" with sex? A very disgusting situation. Could you imagine the money shot? Can you imagine when Neo cums, he bends his back and shit and the camera rotates around Trinity's head as the cum enters her eyes. Just think about this for a moment folks! Can you imagine porn incorporated the bullet time effect in their money shots? Thay would be so fucking cool! ¶9:20 PM e-mail me (0) comments No more History...EVER!!!!!! Buahahahaha! I'm free! Well, after May 3rd's History exam...I'll be officially free from history. But still, no more History classes ever. It feels so good to say that. It really does. I am so fucking happy that finally....no more manic note-taking, no more memorizing useless facts about ancient civilizations, no more sitting in a classroom for 50 minutes - 1.5 hours bored as fuck, no more reading through a useless thick-as-fuck textbook, and finally, NO MORE FUCKING HISTORY EXAMS! Well, after May 3rd that is...buahaha. Flabbergasted! That's how I feel...I've never used that word in this blog before, it's about time I do. Flabbergasted....I'm flabbergasted. ¶3:24 PM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, April 20, 2003 Don't worry Alias, I haven't forgot about you. When I'm back at home, I'll be able to watch you as much as I fucking please. Then I'll be able to stay up to 11:30PM to watch Oliver Bean and Malcolm in the Middle on Fox West ...the pacific coast Fox. (Satellite TV is great) I want ever miss nono of my shows because someone's "using" the tv. No one will ever monopolize the tv from me when I'm at home. Afterall, it's my fucking tv.....buahahahaha! [insert a series of evil laughs] *leans back in chair* [insert yet another series of evil laughs] ¶8:37 PM e-mail me (0) comments All I can think about is how much fun I'm going to have when I get back home. I can't even concentrate on my homework at hand here. This is becoming a problem. And with my roommate being back, the thoughts are being amplifide. I don't know if I can take this new kind of stress. The closer May 4th gets here, the more uninhibited I am becoming with what I say and the actions I do towards people. [drammatic pause] I'm becoming brutally honest. [with increasing excitement] I swear...this journal is the only thing keeping me from speaking my mind to a lot of people. By writing it down quick here, I avoid accidently blurting it out to that person. Thank (notice the lowercased 'g' here) god (!). ¶8:23 PM e-mail me (0) comments Just 2 more Sundays! FUCK Yeah. ¶7:51 PM e-mail me (0) comments Why do I like rock rap better than rap? Rock rap is musically more complex. It has a definite structure that totally compliments expressing an idea. There's an "intro" where the main theme is introduced: the basic chord progression that provides a foundation for the melody. The "intro" is usually repeated twice as the vocalist recites two stanzas of lyrics. Then there's a bridge. The bridge would be comparable to a sonata's development: it's a reinterpretation of the main theme from the beginning. It's usually there to express that a conflict or crisis is finally over, or something that wasn't known has been discovered....or, it's the climax. Then there's the resolution. Finally, what wasn't achieved before is now achieved....or there's a new understanding....or there's no hope. It doesn't always end on a positive note. But it's more complex you see. Regular rap, on the other hand, is musically simple. There's usually this 8 bar beat that repeats over and over and over again, so there's no climax. The musical idea is more focused on the lyrics, not the background music. It's the lyricist's job to produce the melody, the climax, the resolution...everything. Unfortunately, a lot of rappers out there don't understand that shit...thus, most rap sounds like crap. Yay! It rhymes and I can flow! Sure it's art, but it's not musical art. It's poetic art. In order for rap to be truly meaningful, the lyricists should be the hot shit, not the beat. With rap now a days, if you're rapping to a hot shit beat, than you have a #1 song. That's shouldn't be the case! That's selling out in my opinion. Rap songs should focus more on the lyrics, not the beat. Lyricist like Common, Mos Def, Nas....they are truly rapping because their lyrics is the focus, not the beat. That doesn't mean it's music....it means it's poetic art. I'm not saying rap isn't music, I'm merely saying it's musically simple because the musical aspects of it is not the focus. The focus is on the lyrics. More musical thought goes into rock rap. ¶2:33 PM e-mail me (0) comments Well, no phone call. I'm just gonna order some pizza and breadsticks, and chill all night. I know this has any correlation, but ....I love Linkin Park. Everytime I'm angry, I just listen to any Linkin Park song (from Hyrbid Theory, Reanimation, or Meteora)...it's great having music that you can relate so fucking much to. Damn. But whatever...time to order pizza. ¶12:08 AM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, April 19, 2003 Fuck! Once again...I tried to post something, and my browser crashed. It was so concentrated on a topic for once. Shit! Fuck it...I'm watching MadTV now. Fuck off. ¶11:32 PM e-mail me (0) comments Amazing. I'm potentially going out again. Two days in a row. Amazing. So I'm suppose to get a call in the next hour if I'm going anywhere. I still trying to recover from last. I am so fucked up; I'm a sucker for peer pressure. Around 12AM, I'll probably order a large pizza from Dominoes and that amazing cheese breadsticks they have. Amazing. It sucks how I'm partying the hardest when the semester's almost over (in less than 3 weeks). I'm not a square afterall, buahahaha. I can't wait untl next year; it's gonna be ....Amazing. ¶9:53 PM e-mail me (0) comments Better Luck Tomorrow is going to be one amazing movie. It's all about smart kids who are bored, and are tired of being fit into stereotypes (i.e. - geek, band dork, jock). I was slapped with a band dork//nerd stereoptype and it stuck with me throughout high school. I fucking hated that! This movie just proves how far someone with a good "Straight A" reputation can get away with just about anything. And believe me, I fucking got away with everything! I've cussed out teachers, cussed in a class speech I did, I pushed some buttons. And did I ever get punished? Fuck no. I never got in trouble. But I love college. My stereotype profile was wiped clean...I'm finally the person I want to be, and not the person people think I'm suppose to be. I don't have those pressures of living up to any specific stereotypes. I can be and do whatever the fuck I wanna do. Better Luck Tomorrow is going to exploit that ongoing problem in High School, and it's going to help a lot of people out. ¶9:37 PM e-mail me (0) comments I wrote this excellent post...and then my browser crashed. I'm a lazy bastard first of all...second of all, since while posting I tend to not focus on the subject on hand ...it want be the same. I pretty much said I drunk a chocolate shake while squirting out shit in a toilet, and I was ellaborating on that with quite detail. And I had links to this scat porn website. Yeah, it's disgusting...but I've seen worse. I've seen porn where the girl would stick a straw in the guy's ass (or vice versa) and slurped away. So I'm pretty desensitized to disgusting shit like that (literally). Oh! My hang over is still alive and kicking, and I've got a fever. Life is good still. Why? Because my roommate isn't here. Last night was pretty fun. I saw lots of naughty college behavior - that's all I'll say. ¶6:00 PM e-mail me (0) comments I've got the biggest hangover right now. I threw up about 3 times last night. I slepy in my friend's floor (he let me borrow a pillow). Just now we cooked some bacon and sausage with his George Foremon grill. I'm sick...I'm going to bed again. Good times. ¶1:43 PM e-mail me (0) comments Friday, April 18, 2003 Ha Ha Ha! I'm making Bs in everything (like usual), which means I'm one smart motherfucker. That's right, I'm gloating my ass off. I feel sorry for all you dumb stupid asses out there who can't even obtain a measely 2.5 GPA...I'm just being honest here. I'm planning on lowering my standards for a night and get a little drunk tonight. Seriously...after dealing with fucking bullshit in this room for the last week, I need some sort of substance to control my body a little. It's not gonna be anything too bad; I'll just go over someone's dorm with a probably a bunch of people...and we'll play Halo all night and get drunk. That's not too extreme right? Back on the subject..... Ha Ha Ha! I'm smart! Na na na boo boo, dumb fucks are doo doo! So, I'll be getting back late tonight....seeing how my roommate left, it's all good! I don't have to be considerate for a change. When I get back, I might invite some people over. My overall outlook in life changes when I don't have a roommate! I act like that ancient Keddaris acts back in...well, back when he didn't have a roommate/ Just very sociable, and corny. That's what I'm all about. When there's someone else in the room, I just want to hide in my abstract "corner"...and be alone. Away from everyone, and everything. Him leaving is very liberating. Goddammit! In less than 3 weeks, my sanity will forever be liberated. "But aren't you gonna have another roommate next year that'll make you feel the same way?" Fuck no. Although I haven't conversed with my future roommate in a while...when I'm around him, my first reaction isn't to be alone. That very sociable and corny Keddaris is still there. I can be myself. No corners for me. "You're one confused fucker, you know that? Why don't you just be yourself now?" I don't want to force myself to act like anything. Now, something in me tells me "Don't expose yourself too much....you can't trust fuckers." I'm just listening to what my inner consciousness is telling me, and although it doesn't make me comfortable...it feels like the right thing to do. So fuck you fucks out there who think I'm this anti-social, cocky bastard. Because at the moment, I AM! It's so fucking stupid to think this when you know this. Damn! ¶9:03 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, April 17, 2003 I started humming that underwater theme of Super Mario Brothers...and everythings alright. How can any human being hum something as relaxing as that 3/4 waltz smoothness, and be mad at the world simultaneously? It's impossible. If I stop humming it, my anger will come back unfortunately I think Splinter Cell arrived; maybe if the tv becomes free today, I'll get a chance to play it. ¶1:28 PM e-mail me (0) comments ::quietly chants to himself::In less than 3 fucked up shitty weeks, this shit will be all over. No more. NO MORE crap. I went to bed last night with all the intentions of getting 8 hours of sleep. Wanna know how many hours I got? ONLY 5 HOURS!!!!!!! There is no 4-letter word that could clarify how pissed I am at this very moment. So many examples of being inconsiderate last night could be said; however, I'm going to do something a little different. I'm going to give examples of me being considerate in the attempt to justify my motherfucking anger!! (1) The latest I have stayed up chatting to someone what until 2:45AM in the morning. I was talking to someone on aim in fact. The lights were on, and I was typing pretty fucking loud (not intentionally). When I was done, I told my roommate "Sorry if I kept you up late....I was talking to someone, and the conversation was interesting." And it was! We were talking about serious shit...like depression. I didn't like having my sleep postponed until 4AM in the morning due to meaningless small talk and a voice who was a a frequency that annoyed the fuck out of me. The moment I was about to go to sleep, I would hear laughter - not that giggle-to-yourself lauugh, but that laugh-out-loud laugh. 4 O'Clock in the fucking morning. Four oclock in the fucking morning. Bottom line: I was talking to someone about significant things, and then I apoligized for taking too long to get to bed. I was considerate...don't you think? (1) When Zelda first arrived, I played for hours at a time. If I recall, I never played longer than an hour at night. And when I did play longer, it was during the fucking daytime when nothing is on tv. Right? So I was never selfish with my gaming time..and I used COMMON SENSE in order to figure out when to stop playing. I would stop playing thinking "Wow, I've been playing too long...I need to stop so my roommate can do whatever with the tv for a while....I need to share." I fucking hate it when some monopolizes tv time. Bottom line: I stopped playing because I felt I was hogging the tv at times, especially at night! I hope something gives me the strength not to pound someone's face in. I almost losed it this morning when I was woke up at 9:40AM. I almost lost it when the typing began once again at 10AM. I almost lost it when the door was slammed twice at 9:50 and 9:55. I almost fucking lost it. I try so hard to avoid conflict. So so very hard. I don't like it when I'm mad because I say things I'll regret. I'm an instigator when I'm mad...I only stop when I see red. I'm crazy. Use common sense and you want piss me off! Duh! Goddammit! I hate fucking dumbasses! In less than 3 weeks, it'll be all over and I can cuss these people out in the privacy of my room. I need to listen to some linkin park now....no wait, I've got classes! ...and wait, I'm tired as fuck! I am sleepy as fuck. My eyes are still burning with that sleepiness sensation. Goddammit. I feel better now...I don't want to kill anyone now. I just had to get that off my chest. Notice the indirectness of the complaints above... ¶10:46 AM e-mail me (0) comments Wednesday, April 16, 2003 You know what? I don't need to ever play one of my video games every again. I can happily wait until I get the fuck out of here before I start playing all my "cool" games. I might as well pack my gamecube up. Fuck it. I can wait two weeks...I haven't played my gamecube in about 3 days now. What's 14 more days, huh? Even though I'm still greatly addicted to Zelda, I'm still trying to beat Super Monkey Ball 2, and Splinter Cell for gamecube, and Ikaruga is coming in the mail. ¶8:55 PM e-mail me (0) comments I just gotta keep telling myself, "Less than 3 weeks left, Less than 3 weeks left, Less than 3 weeks left." In less than 3 weeks, not more roommate. I'll be able to play video games any fucking I want to. I'll be able to play my music without earphone any fucking time of the day. I'll be able to watch TV whenever the fuck I want to. I'll be able to drive in my nice as fuck car any fucking time of the day, and go places. I'll be able to write about someone as much as I want to on this site without worrying about them reading it - well, without worrying about seeing them every again. I'll be liberated from the stresses of "always being happy." I'll be able to scream at anything in my room whenever the fuck I want to, and not be thought of as crazed. I'll be able to masturbate more than any human being on the planet once again. I'll be able to do things without the fear of my roommate reading or listening to what I'm typing or saying. No more paranoia. When I look on the floor, I'll only see my pubes...there will be no more contaminations of non-Keddaris pubes. Fuck! I'll be able to go over my friends houses and play video games. I'll be able to go to the fucking movies!! Goddamn I'm in movie-withdrawal. I will not have to breathe in cigarette smoke, and smell the scents of cigarette smoke ever again. I'll be able to watch all the fucking shows I've had to not watch because my roommate was watching tv. But wait! I'm fucking screwed because the seasons of all my favorite shows are over!!! I'm so fucking mad about that shit. I hate ______ (use your imagination). ________ (use your imagination) sucks so much fucking ass, it makes me want to puke. __________ (use your imagination) is that fucking scratch in the middle of your back you can never get to. When the itch is gone, it's paradise. "Less than 3 weeks left, Less than 3 weeks left, Less than 3 weeks left." In less than 3 weeks, it's going to be paradise. Disclaimer: When I typed "______ (use your imagination)", the word that came to my imagination was "homework". [insert evil laugh] *sits back in chair, and grins* *gets up to take a piss* *sits back down, and still patiently waits for the tv to be free* (I'm a nice guy who'll be patient. On the otherhand, the person who said "The best things come to people who wait" never said anything about becoming homicidal while your waiting. That's right America, I feel like killing someone once again. Of course I'm playing - but also, of course there's no way of knowing how truthful I'm being. I say a lot of things that I say I don't mean but I mean them, and a lot of things that I mean to say but don't say them, and a lot of things that I don't mean to say but say them anyway. Okay...I'm just talking out of my ass now. Be sometimes I talk out of my ass and purposely talk of it; other times I talk out of my ass and don't mean to. Sometimes I even say things I don't mean to say while talking out of my ass but I don't say what I meant to say and I purposely want to talk out of my ass. Most of the time, I talk out of my ass and say things I mean. That's what gives me that sarcastic edge I'm famous for. ¶8:09 PM e-mail me (0) comments No more bonering for me. The last trombone using rehearsal is over. I will not be playing my trombone in an ensemble until next semester. Although, when I go back to my hometown this summer, I might get together with my old band buddies to play through some tunes. Blah blah blah... I just got back from getting some food with friends. We talked for abuot an hour after we were done eating; the topics went from girls' asses, to military camp, to how easy it to manipulate parents, and finally to "crazy stories." You know, just regular college talk. Next Wednesday, NO MORE CLASSES THIS SEMESTER!!!!! I'm a little excited. ¶6:44 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, April 15, 2003 In the last 5 hours, wanna know how much work I've gotten done? This: An analysis of a pivotal scene in the book. Pivotal Scene: Meeting her half twins in China. Argument Jing-mei wants to reject her Chinese identity when she is younger; she wants to be absolutely American. She finds the Chinese culture very comical. [give example from text] [give commentary from MLA journal] I hate this crap. I don't feel like writing this paper! The semester is already over in my mind. Next week Wednesday is the last day of classes. ¶5:55 PM e-mail me (0) comments I keep falling asleep! If I was a wild animal, you wouldn't need tranquilizers to knock me out; just throw books at me. Over the last 4 days, I've only managed to sleep about 6 hours a day average. That's not a good thing///faajl;;;;; WHat the fuck! There goes the stupid fucks outside with the hollering and shit. I hate that so much! I wish I was at home where I can have total control over the sounds I hear in my environment; I'm in control. College is just an anarchy of sounds, everwhere you go. The only time when I can control most of the sounds is when I'm listening to music on my headphones, but that can only block out so much. I still hear the tv and the fucks outside hollering with them on. Anyway, I've got a English draft to write tonight, and then I'm going over a friend's dorm to study for a Computer Science test coming up: the last one! I've gotta fart now, bye. ¶4:27 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm so busy. Only 18 days left, and my ass is outta here - buahahaha. ¶1:41 PM e-mail me (0) comments Oh yeah! If forgot to talk about my orchestra performance toda...yesterday at 8PM. This was the final orchestra thing for me this semester. Really, it's the last band thing for the semester. SO everyone was very fucking sad about that. No more playing my trombone next to my trombone buddies. NOT until next year. We're gonna try and get together once a week and have lunch or something. You know, something so we can hang out some more before the semester's over. I had about 4 solos overall, and I played them all beautifully; I controlled my breathing better than I've ever done before (it's all about sitting up straight). It looked like a sold out audience! My heart was pounding like crazy in my chest, and on top of that it was cold up on the stage. It was fun. ¶1:38 AM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, April 14, 2003 Just for the record...It is freezing in my room right now. Sure it's hot outside, but the air conditioner is out of control! I think the air is blowing directly on me or something. I don't like getting blown on. ¶5:49 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm so happy! A new beta version of Apple's browser, Safari, has beed released. Finally! I get to surf the net with tabs again. I know Camino has tab browsing as well, but it's not as elegant as Safari. Go Apple. Tonight is the big orchestra performance. I'm a little nervous, but luckily the trombones don't play that much. Wish me luck. (It's starts at 8PM) ¶4:49 PM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, April 13, 2003 I've learned the countries in aFriCa, and I've read the cliff notes of about 1/4 of that fucking book. I didn't have enough time to finish reading, since now I've gotta go to orchestra rehearsal :-( ¶6:57 PM e-mail me (0) comments Africa is so fucked up! There's countries within countries! What the hell is that all about? ¶2:59 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm got to memorize the locations of all the countries in Africa, and write 1st draft essay covering a book that I haven't read yet. And both of those bitches are due tomorrow! It's life a bitch sometimes? Worst of all...I've got an orchestra rehearsal tonight at 7:15PM, so I'm gonna miss The Simpsons! Not to mention I won't have time tonight to do this work, so I've gotta do it now - only 2:15PM. I hate doing work early...it feels so responsible. Not to mention there's a potential friendship forming between me an my _______ [insert adjective] roommate. We talked for abaout 3 hours last night. It was cool; but I only got 6 hours of sleep because the fucking cougar basketball team decided to play basketball at 11AM this morning on the court below...and they were loud as fuck. I felt like telling them to shut the fuck up! Last semester I would have told them that (because I was telling just about everyone who was keeping me up to shut the fuck up). But now, I'm trying not to be so uptight and I'm learning to let things slide. I'm probably getting that kind of ideology from my roommate because he's so tolerable with things. I'm pretty sure on the form I had to fill out to find a roommate match, I told them specifically what I wanted and didn't want. I wrote down: I must get 8 hours of sleep, and I'm used to getting my way. Maybe they chose my current roommate because he maybe wrote: I'm a laid back whatever kind of guy. Who knows. Why the fuck have I had so much to say lately? I don't get it. My mind is just flooded with all these opinions all of a sudden. It's like a new mental renaissance or something. It's strange how life works sometimes. Very fucking strange. Oh well...time to do some work now! Africa! NOw there's a continent that has too many damn countries! I've gotta memorize 26!!!!!!!!! What the fuck. Who cares where Tunisa is? Who cares where Gabon is? Who the fuck cares where Zimbabwe is? I sure as fuck don't. I don't see the fucking point. I hate this shit, and thank god (if there is one) this is the very last time I will ever have to do one of these fucking pieces of shit quizzes. Wow, that felt good. ¶2:26 PM e-mail me (0) comments Dammit...I've got more facial hair. In other news, I'd like to give out a special "fuck you" shoutout to that fat blonde bitch I talked about a long long time ago - you know who you are. Keep being fat, keep being a blonde, and keep on being a bitch. I hate you for what you are. Thank you for giving me yet another fucked up memory; thanks to you, my fucked-up-memory collection is vastly diversified. Hopefully, your obesity will kill you and rid me of one less person I hate. Everyday...I'm feeling more and more like my old self (if you'd like to get to know the old me, check out the September archives). I'm feeling free again for some reason. I feel like a new me as been born - or I've stopped sucking tits and I'm now on the bottle. I'm feeling ok with who the fuck I am - Fucking changing who I am to make people like me. Fuck that shit. I'm starting to have my good 'ol insulting discriminating opinions back, and I'm loving it. Fuck shit bitch cuntfucker. Is that cool or what? Say the following outloud and tell me it doesn't feel good to say: "FUCK SHIT BITCH CUNTFUCKER". That shit feels so good to say. Freedom of speech is great. If America didn't have freedom of speech, I would probably be suicidal. I couldn't be oppressed like the folks in Iraq. That's fucking hell. And living in this fucking dorm room with a ________ (use your imagination) sucks donkey dick. Thank god there's only 3 more weeks left. ¶12:55 AM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, April 12, 2003 I went to girl's (that I know) senior concert at 8PM. She was amazing! She did a little classical, a little jazz, a little bit arabic, pretty much everything. She had a very opera-like demeanor; I liked how she wasn't just singing...she was performing. I'm friends with a lot of seniors which sucks because I'll probably never see them ever again. Now that I think about it, I won't see a lot of people ever again [hopefully, buahaha]. After the concert, I went to subway to get some grub. Background. Millennium Music (which is a music store, duh!) has a restaurant on top of it's roof. It's an outside restaurant. End Background. On the way to subway, I've gotta past by this music store. On top, there was a fucking party going on! There was a band, and it began to play "Goodbye Ms. America Pie." Goddamn I hate that fucking song. That's like the mellow hippy theme for all white people (yeah, I'm stereotyping...whatcha gonna do about it?). Everyone up there was singing with the band. Did I already tell ya how much I hate that [fucking] song? Anyway, what the FUCK DOES IT MEAN? Have you ever tried to decipher the lyrics? Bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my chevy to the levee But the levee was dry And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' this'll be the day that I die This'll be the day that I die That's the fucking chorus. What the fuck does that mean? How fucking high was this guy when he wrote these lyrics? Someone needs to put the nonsensical hippy back in his cage. I fucking hate how abstract this shit is! Sure it's a "feel good" song, but I don't want to feel good to something so fucked up! There's no logic in what the fuck is being said. NONE whatever so ever. Damn I hate this fucking song so fucking much...have I already said that before? It sucks dick! I hate all music who has lyrics that mean complete nonsense. Fucking hippies! Go back to Africa....uh, Mexico...Go back in time to post Vietnam War and stay there like you stupid ass fucks should remain! You're ruining generation after generation with that fucked up bullshit you're singing about. You're inspiring new legions of hippies to join your fucked up war against logic. You people suck so much dog shit. Did you write the Book of Love And do you have faith in God above If the Bible tells you so Do you believe in rock 'n roll Can music save your mortal soul And can you teach me how to dance real slow (Extreme Sarcasm) ...yeah, that makes so much fucking sense! ¶10:52 PM e-mail me (0) comments All I'm gonna say is goddammit! I just wanted to watch The Matrix with my superb and highly superior 2.0 computer speakers with it's 10 inch subwoofer. That's all I wanted this weekend. If you've never watched The MAtrix with a subwoofer, you'll know what the fuck I'm talking about. Damn it makes you feel good...all that bass. I practically cum in my pants. Why the fuck do I have to be considerate all the fucking time. Why can't I say, "Ah fuck it, who fucking cares...I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do - This is my fucking space and I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do while I'm in it." That's all I want to say; where the fuck are my balls? I put my hands in my underwear and it appears that I've got balls - why the fuck haven't I taken advantage of that? Why the fuck haven't I capitalized on my balls resources? Who fucking knows. I'm gonna be this voiceless considerate bastard the rest of my fucking like, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's how my parents programmed me I guess. I went to Target with my friend today. She's pretty damn cool. Including her, there's only 6 people on campus I feel totally comfortable being around. People I like being around. Only 6. Is that sad? I think not. That's pretty damn good considering I'm a very introverted person who hates socializing. Overall, I'm very fucking popular. At the dorm I'm staying in next year, all the RAs know me ...All the people who watch the front desk know me. Everybody who chills in the lobby know me. I'm known/ There's people out there who care for what I say, and knowing that makes all the insecurities and problems I'm currently facing vanish. I'm finally at ease with a lot of things. I just had to open my fucking eyes and realize life isn't as shitty as I thought it was. I'm not socially handicapped. Well anyway.... It's time to watch The Matrix with a pair of earphones on :-( ...it's so fucked up. It's not the same experience as subwoofers (even though I've got the best earphones you can get). Later people. AND I'D LIKE TO SEND OUT A SPECIAL FUCK YOU TO ALL YOU FUCKS WHO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. FUCK YOU you cocksucking pieces of shit. ¶6:27 PM e-mail me (0) comments Everyone on campus is getting more and more depressed as our freshmen year come to a close. Everyone I know is sad because they want it to desperately be over now; like waiting 3 more weeks is the most difficult thing ever to go through. I'm am so fucking ...undepressed. I'm happy. Everyone is sad because they want it over now, but I'm happy becase it's gonna be over in 3 weeks. It's one of those - do you think the glass is half empty or half full - things. I think the glass is half full, and I haven't been this happy in a long fucking time. I hate how I'm starting to say things to people due to the possiblility that I will never see them again. I just want to tell people what I really think of them. Well anyway, I'm going to lunch with a trombone chich...and then she's taking me to Wal-Mart and we're gonna fuck. Okay, I was just kidding about the "fucking" part, but same difference Right??? ¶11:37 AM e-mail me (0) comments Friday, April 11, 2003 Looks like this weekend is gonna suck!! SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK....SUCK SUXS SUX SUCKS SUCK SUCKS SUCK....I can't emphasize "suck" enough. I can try though - suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck ------- suck suck ---- blow blow blow blow blow blow ----suck ass suck ass suck so much fucking ass...:::::SUCK::::::... suck fucking ass crack! You want to know why? Because I won't have the room to myself. It's gonna be yet another 14-day week. I just want to be in a room by myself on weekends! The weekend is when I seek shelter from all people because I hate people so much. It's when I calm down and massage my soul. I can't do that with someone else in the room! And no I'm not talking about masturbation - I'm just talking about getting a break from the world. Living is this fucking dorm, you never get any "me time." Where it's just me and me, and no body else to think about in the room. It sucks because the only times I feel okay with the world is inbetween walking from class to class, or just when I'm walking by myself period. What's second best is hanging out with people I like hanging out with. I have my cell phone on just in case a friend calls and tells me of something happening where I would leave this shit hole and go have fun. I sure wish Phish would give more concerts around the Charleston area. ¶8:17 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, April 10, 2003 Alright guys, call me a fucking liar. Call me the master of procrastination. Call me ....a fucking liar. I said I would have some Flash animation up on the site tonight, but whoops - once again, I socialized! I went over a friends place around 3PM, and I just now got back. I can't work on anything because I've got to work on my English paper. ¶9:47 PM e-mail me (0) comments Look folks...I'm putting some flash animation up in my projects section tonight whether I like it or not. It'll suck, trust me...but I feel like I'm a bug liar when I tell you I'm working on flash shit and I don't have anything to back me up on it. Probably in the next two weeks, I'll change the look of the site...I'll still keep the iFrame here - I'll just get rid of that fucking drop down menu above. I'm so tired of it, and I feel for new visitors...the current design is alienating other sections of my site. So there you fuckers, how you like them nuts? ¶1:52 PM e-mail me (0) comments ...more testing. ¶1:35 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm just trying out this new web browser. It's called OmniWeb...sorry Windows users, it's only for Mac OS X. I'll post more later. ¶1:35 PM e-mail me (0) comments Wednesday, April 09, 2003 oh yeah...I'm sitting in my eng 102 class working on my paper...oh yeah ¶12:06 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, April 08, 2003 I bought the Dreamcatcher soundtrack. The composer of Dreamcatcher's music is none other than James Newton Howard. He's an outstanding movie music composer; he's done music for all M. Night Shyamalan films (The Sixth Sense, Signs), The Devil's Advocate, Waterworld, and much more. I love his harmonic progressions; it's like his calling chord. When watching a movie, you know it's James by his use of non-orchestral music mixed with a sinister string sound and hyped up brass hits. ¶4:42 PM e-mail me (0) comments I'm so freaking bored. Maybe that means I should start working on homework(?)...who knows. ¶4:42 PM e-mail me (0) comments Monday, April 07, 2003 I swear...I need a portable tv or something. [insert bitching here] ¶10:00 PM e-mail me (0) comments Well my roommate isn't here. I hope he's not dead...or do I? (buahahahahaha *cough* arrgh *cough* buahahaha) ¶10:55 AM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, April 06, 2003 Have you ever thought how life would be if we didn't have fingernails? I'm so fucking tired of forgetting to cut them regularly, and I find myself cutting people up when I shake their hands - or worst (!) cutting my own damn self up with 'em. All 16 oz cans, fuck it! ...ALL bottles and containters would cap you twist off. Every single one of them. That would the fucking life! No more tabs breaking off, not more breaking your fingernails trying to open it. And Toenails!! I'm so fucking tired of 'em. I cut the off, and they're so fucking thick - they're little knives. They drop in the floor right ...then I walk around in my socks, and It's like I'm walking on glass!! And I'm so scared to cut them sometimes because I'm scared they might fly up into my eye and cut them up. Why the fuck couldn't humans evolve to have little hoofs at the end of our fingers or some shit like that. At a point in our evolution, humans stopped needed nails as much. We got out of those caves, and built houses and shit. I don't know where the fuck I'm going with this. My point is: NAILS PISS ME THE FUCK OFF! ¶10:30 PM e-mail me (0) comments Check out www.littlemikey.com - Here's a sample...   I swept up a little just now. There was just too much dust and hair on floor...I just couldn't take it. Surprisingly, the majority of the hair I'm seeing is my hair. Of course that's because my hair is easier to see on top of this dirt-beige colored floor. Bu whatever. I need to get some toilet paper. I think I can just go downstairs and ask for some, so I'll do it when I start doing some laundry. I have been taking a crap in the room yet this weekend. Whenever I get those urges, I'm usually somewhere else. I ordered Splinter Cell yesterday...it should be getting here around next Friday. I should be done with Zelda: The Wind Waker by then - however, I'm a collection kind of guy so I'll keep playing Zelda until I've gotten everything. I did the same with Ocarina of Time, and it took me a year to find everything. For those of you wondering when the hell I'm gonna put some Flash animation up on the site - I'm working on some stuff. In the coming months, I'm gonna [yet again] redesign this site ...getting rid of that stupid drop down menu (somewhat), and I'll make it easier to see what parts of my sites will be regularly updated. I'm gonna make some custom images, I might incorporate some flash; depends on how good I get at it. Keep checking up, and if you'd like ---just email me letters telling me to "Hurry the fuck up!" , or whatever. ¶2:21 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, April 05, 2003 Amazing! I have never been so entertained since Halloween! (If you missed that post, read it here, it's hilarious.) My friend Brian has been telling me I should come to one of these things for a long time now. I've always said I was busy, or I didn't feel like socializing. (P.S. - ...I'm not a liar.) So tonight, I went! I stopped being so damn responsible and stubborn, and went. A Stepping Show - from what I've seen, it's sort of a battle of the greek symbols. Correction, the black greek frats and sors (I wonder if that's the shortened form of sorority?). Yeah, I think it's a little racist too. "No Whities." Well, I guess it's okay because there's this stereotype [that I sort of believe in] about how white people can't dance; plus (!), I'm sure the black frats and sors (lol, sors...I just got that) were the originators. Also...the white frats and sors are too busy getting drunk and having circle jerks and pillow fights; and hollering every fucking night while I'm trying to sleep. Uhhhhhh..., anyway, It was a great show! However, I haven't felt this white since high school. (yes yes I'm black...but I don't act stereotypical) Put some insecurity, some paranoia, and a sprinkle of depression in a bowl - THAT'S HOW I FEEL. But I'm used to that. High school for me was all about the insecurities. I wish I could relate to that hip hop culture, but I think it appears ignorant and insensitive to other cultures. (OOOO, MADtv!!) But hey, I'm a natural born bitcher. Again...I repeat: MADtv IS THE SHIT AND KICKS SNL'S ASS!!! Fuck SNL, FUCK HAHAHAHAA, whoops, FUCK SNL in the bum!!! ¶11:13 PM e-mail me (0) comments Friday, April 04, 2003 Everyone...please read this article: ArabNews: Exclusive: "You Are a Strange One, Mr. Bush". It'll put some things in perspective for you. This is coming from an arabic point of view, and it sort of makes it embarrassing to be in a country who practices such duplicity. Bush: "We're going to liberate iRaq, [Shhhhhh] Those bastards are starting to monopolize our oil supply, and that fucker Saddam tried to kill my daddy. *COUGH* The iraqi people have suffered through enough oppression." But what the fuck ever. I'm now counting down the hours until my roommate leaves. Only then (!) will my weekend begin. Last weekend he didn't go anywhere, so in my little world I've had a 14-day week. It's time for the weekend to get here, don't you agree? ¶4:06 PM e-mail me (0) comments Thursday, April 03, 2003 ...I had a jazz concert today. Our group when last. "Great job" "I honestly thought you guys were the best." "Where was the bone solo???" SO EVERYONE ENJOYED OUR SONG. We played "New Waltz" by our teacher, Frank Duvall (check out his site here). The song was beautiful...absolutely. Me with my trombone and this other tenor saxophonist had these dissonant smashing chords. If him and I just played the piece, it would sound awful...but when it all comes together, the sound is amazing! So, during these jazz performances - everyone is supposedly given a solo. I wrote out these amazing solo last night; it took me about 2 hours to create. I sat in front of a piano and just wrote an awesome trombone solo (78 measures, 3/4 time, slow). Just before our performance today, Frank tells us "Due to time, I only want [the tenor saxophonist] and the [alto flutist] to have solos." I was shocked. I had about 3 or 4 people in the audience who were there to support me. Now I'm not gonna be able to show off this amazing solo I created. I was up there, I obviously looked depressed. Overall though, I didn't miss too many notes. My tone sounded professional. I stumbled over an eight note arppegiated run though; but I recovered and played it perfectly the next time I had it. But I was very upset that I didn't have a solo. The group sounded good! This was our percussionist (his name is James Brown) first concert I think. He was incredible (though there was a section during the flutist solo where it slowed down and I was worried). It was a very laid back experience as usual. I told the teach I was upset that I didn't get a solo spot, he told me we'll go through the song during our next rehearsal so I can toot through it. It was still a lot of fun, and anyone who missed this concert missed an incredible feeling. This was our last (Jazz Student) concert, and we ended it well. Lots of fun. Wouldn't trade the experience for nothing. Well, I've got a program to make that's due tomorrow. Yep! Same old crap-dickety shit. Damn it's due tomorrow!!!! I was typed that and didn't realize how fucked I am. Hopefully I make a B at least. Thanks for reading, see ya next time! ¶3:16 PM e-mail me (0) comments Tuesday, April 01, 2003 I got so embarrased today. So I was going through the cafeteria line, with my earphones on. I took the right plug out so that I could here what the cafeteria ladies were saying. I asked for a cheeseburger, hot dog, and fries. I gave her my plate and put my right ear plug back in. Now, these earphone block out about 40% of the sound without the music playing. Then she asked me something: Cafeteria Lady: "Show me yo teethz." Well, I thought that was a little odd, but I showed her my teeth anyway. Maybe I've got another admirer of thy beautiful features - yes, I'm full of myself. But, she just looked at me looking at her with this big weird smile. I didn't know what was up...I did what she asked me to do. I too both earplugs out, ans conitinued to look at her. She repeated: Cafeteria Lady: "Do you want Chili o' Cheeze?" Oh my God! There I was, showing my teeth like an idiot...in front of a lot of people, because the lines weren't at all small. She was asking me if I wanted her to put chili or cheese on my fries (notice that I don't say French fries). I was so embarassed. Me: "Oh! I thought you were telling me to show my teeth." She just looked at me like I was an idiot and laughed. Though, she didn't laugh with me...THIS FUCKING CAFETERIA BITCH WAS LAUGHING AT ME!!!!! What was her goddamn problem uh? She could have showed some sympathy for my obvious mistake. She didn't have to add yet another example of the psychological abuse I daily suffer with. I'm traumatized. I'm so traumatized that I will probably never ever get a cheeseburger, hotdog, and fries there EVER AGAIN. |
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AIM: tbonefever2pt0