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Sunday, June 27, 2004
Cinemax Sucks. I hate Cinemax. I hate how whenever you watch it late at night, you see all this PORN, but it's not really PORN, it's more like PORN. It's just a whole lot of teasing and not enough pleasing (I honestly didn't mean for that to rhyme). It's 12:30AM, so I cruise the channels like I usually do at this hour, and I see titles like: Dirty Talk, Body Heat, and The Voyeur Beach. My horn-dog radar tingles and thus my tv magically gets stuck on these movies (all night). Cinemax has been known as the softcore-porn-lovers paradise, but enough is enough. Why the fuck does Cinemax have such high morals? Apparently they'll feature PORN movies, but only movies that wet your appetite. They won't show a full shot of a vagina (you wanna see a nice wet hole that you can visualize putting your erect penis in), and they seem to be fearful of penii (or penes). So if you're a guy, it leaves you craving for more....as a girl, it leaves you craving for more...all of this equals "GODDAMMIT!!!!". Not only is it not visually stimulating enough, scenes only last at most 2 fucking minutes!!!!! What kind of shit is that? What kind of fucked up, ignorant shit is that? Why put PORN on your programming line up if it's not even going to be good PORN? At best, it'll get you hard; I could have done that myself! PORN is not only suppose to get you hard, but it's suppose to also send you into this wonderful fantasy land where all the chicks want to fuck you (or currently are fucking you). So you're not just jacking off, you feel like you're actually fucking hoes and bitches and dikes and fat chicks and strippers and midgets and chicks with hairy armpits and women with real boobs and women with fake boobs and women with pink panties on and women with black panties on and just-turned-18-chicks NOPE! There's no hope with Cinemax. Cinemax is useless, functionless: if this was the matrix, the "cinemax program" would have been terminated a long time ago. All the movies Cinemax show are shown on HBO anyway! Cinemax is only a buffer channel for HBO - meaning, all the not-so-good movies of the Summer get put on Cinemax after HBO is done with them. Cinemax is HBO's whore. The only reason to have Cinemax is for the crappy softcore PORN, unfortunately. But they're just not doing it right. If HBO can show a moist vagina head on, an erect dick, and an erect dick going into a moist vagina head on, then why the fuck can't Cinemax do the same? Does it not realize how much their ratings would shoot up if they did (no pun intended)? NOTE: maybe HBO can get away with it because it's usually showing unattractive over-the-age-of 40 fuckers having sex...which almost makes it painful to send yourself into your respective masturbatory wonderland. I'm disappointed at Cinemax, and most importantly...I'm disappointed at myself. Night after night, I torture myself to this PORN, and night after night I find myself wanting more (which is why I then browse through my 20Gig collection of porn to finish the deal). I hate anything that toys with my dick's emotions, that's just not cool at all. ¶1:58 AM e-mail me (2) comments (2) comments
Well doesnt that suck. heh heh heh
by
you poor, sad, morally depraved individual :-p
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