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Sunday, December 12, 2004

How To Kick Ass On Final Exams.

I have discovered the secrets to doing good on finals. Never progress through the class without knowing how to do everything that's covered. Never fall behind, and always do your homework. Study in a group of people who are not only majoring in your major, but also share the same level of ambition. As soon as finals get here, keep your studying to a minimal & STOP CARING SO GODDAMN MUCH.

This may come as common sense to you (as well as it should), but don't take a class and not know how to do a damn thing. That's the most stupidest thing a student can do. Even more stupid than buying a rubber sex toy and using it without some kind of lube. But unfortunately, I was one of "the stupid" (while taking a class not knowing how to do anything & I used a sex toy without ky jelly...ouch). The professor would start up a new discussion about something, and I wouldn't know what the fuck he was talking about last time. But I always thought to myself: "You know what? I can just learn all of this stuff whenever test time comes." But you know what would usually end up happening? Test time would come around...by that time, I would lack the knowledge of knowing where to begin - I would just blow it off, and make a mediocre grade. After a while, all of the info I lacked would accumulate and BAM!!! I would fuck up on the final exam. Kiddies, don't do this. Take the necessary time it takes to learn how do to everything. Don't let things pile up until it's too late, and you find yourself looking forward to making a C or lower on the final exam. HEY! You're not listening to me are you. DO YOU'RE FUCKING HOMEWORK!!!! These last 2 years have been hell for me. Mainly I would do OK on tests, but then totally bomb on the final exam. I'm such a horrible horrible human being. Don't be like me kids, be like Bill Clinton - do your cunting homework, and one day you'll get a blow job in the oval office. Or be like George "Dubya" Bush - do your cunting homework, and one day you'll disintegrate an entire country killing tons of Americans and civilians of that country in the process.

Animals don't do anything but eat, shit, have lots of sex, fight each other, have kids, and then die. Why is it so complicated to be human? I can understand having an education system, but why can't we learn and do our on thing? Would an anarchy be that bad? Nah, nevermind. I guess it would be bad. Someone would have probably killed me because I walked on their property or for some retarded reason like that. No one would live past 33 years old (or how many years old Jesus was when he was whipped, beaten, spat on, and crucified into a bloody pulp....that reminds me, I ordered orange juice today, and it had so much pulp in it, I had to chew the shit up before I swallowed...just like an old dirty prostitute). //rant over

It is essential to study with your peers. It really does help. No! DO NOT STUDY WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS ADD, someone who is more interested in socializing, or someone who is self-centered when it comes to studying with them. If you're trying to explain something to someone, and they act like their listening, but then start masturbating right there in front of you, that's a good sign of ADD - you might want to run away from that person as fast as you can. Don't look back. If you're studying some serious shit that requires a lot of concentration, and then your study partner insists on showing you some flash animation or something on tv (or porn), again...you might want to run away as fast as you can. You might even want to rub the crack of your ass with your index finger and shove your hand in their face as your running away. That always works for me. Why do this? Because you won't get anything done. You'll spend an hour laughing and talking about unimportant shit, instead of studying notes and learning something; as a result, you'll make lower grades & get a lower final exam grade in the long run. Stay away from the self-centered and selfish. "Hey, can you show me how to do this and this and this and this...etc?" And then you show them how to do it. By the time you finally get to review things you want to go over, they're ready to call it quits for the night. FUCK THAT! Those types of people are to be avoided at all cost. They're worst than people with ADD or people who want to socialize. Because when you study with those types of people, you feel as if you're learning a lot, but you're really not. And when test time comes around, they'll make A's and you'll make D's. Take it from me; that really sucks panda tits. A solution to this is to study with someone who as the same ambitions as you. And someone who won't socialize too much. Someone who will not only give you the opportunity to get help, but give themselves an opportunity to receive help. Those are the best kinds of study partners.

If all goes well, you're final exams will turn out as they are turning out for me now: GREAT! I'm only spending about 2 hours max studying for each of my final exams, and that's proving to be sufficient enough to make C's or higher, instead of C's or lower. AND COME ON! That's all that's matters. Spend 2 hours max, and stop caring after that. Fuck it! You'll end up doing worst if you stress. Trust me, after 5 semesters, I finally see the light.
Stop stressing over stuff.
Homework must be done.
It's a good thing to have study partners that aren't slackers
To fall behind means to not be able to catch up; that's a bad thing.

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How To Kick Ass On Final Exams.

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