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Sunday, June 27, 2004
Cinemax Sucks. I hate Cinemax. I hate how whenever you watch it late at night, you see all this PORN, but it's not really PORN, it's more like PORN. It's just a whole lot of teasing and not enough pleasing (I honestly didn't mean for that to rhyme). It's 12:30AM, so I cruise the channels like I usually do at this hour, and I see titles like: Dirty Talk, Body Heat, and The Voyeur Beach. My horn-dog radar tingles and thus my tv magically gets stuck on these movies (all night). Cinemax has been known as the softcore-porn-lovers paradise, but enough is enough. Why the fuck does Cinemax have such high morals? Apparently they'll feature PORN movies, but only movies that wet your appetite. They won't show a full shot of a vagina (you wanna see a nice wet hole that you can visualize putting your erect penis in), and they seem to be fearful of penii (or penes). So if you're a guy, it leaves you craving for more....as a girl, it leaves you craving for more...all of this equals "GODDAMMIT!!!!". Not only is it not visually stimulating enough, scenes only last at most 2 fucking minutes!!!!! What kind of shit is that? What kind of fucked up, ignorant shit is that? Why put PORN on your programming line up if it's not even going to be good PORN? At best, it'll get you hard; I could have done that myself! PORN is not only suppose to get you hard, but it's suppose to also send you into this wonderful fantasy land where all the chicks want to fuck you (or currently are fucking you). So you're not just jacking off, you feel like you're actually fucking hoes and bitches and dikes and fat chicks and strippers and midgets and chicks with hairy armpits and women with real boobs and women with fake boobs and women with pink panties on and women with black panties on and just-turned-18-chicks NOPE! There's no hope with Cinemax. Cinemax is useless, functionless: if this was the matrix, the "cinemax program" would have been terminated a long time ago. All the movies Cinemax show are shown on HBO anyway! Cinemax is only a buffer channel for HBO - meaning, all the not-so-good movies of the Summer get put on Cinemax after HBO is done with them. Cinemax is HBO's whore. The only reason to have Cinemax is for the crappy softcore PORN, unfortunately. But they're just not doing it right. If HBO can show a moist vagina head on, an erect dick, and an erect dick going into a moist vagina head on, then why the fuck can't Cinemax do the same? Does it not realize how much their ratings would shoot up if they did (no pun intended)? NOTE: maybe HBO can get away with it because it's usually showing unattractive over-the-age-of 40 fuckers having sex...which almost makes it painful to send yourself into your respective masturbatory wonderland. I'm disappointed at Cinemax, and most importantly...I'm disappointed at myself. Night after night, I torture myself to this PORN, and night after night I find myself wanting more (which is why I then browse through my 20Gig collection of porn to finish the deal). I hate anything that toys with my dick's emotions, that's just not cool at all. ¶1:58 AM e-mail me (2) comments Wednesday, June 23, 2004 A Good Interview with Sam Raimi.Here you go. I can't wait for Spider-Man 2 to come out. I so freaking hyped up about it. People have been saying it's an awesome movie. Let's just hope they fixed some of those awful transitions from CG spider-man to live action spider-man. That was my only beef with the first movie. Of course it didn't stop me from seeing it 14 times at the movie theater (I only paid to watch it 3 times, so don't worry). So check out this fucking interview, and I'll probably have a lot more spider-man stuff to talk about. If you hate spider-man, stop reading my fucking site right now; I don't need hits from retarded fuckers like yourself. ¶11:25 AM e-mail me (4) commentsSaturday, June 19, 2004 ¶10:23 PM e-mail me (3) comments Thursday, June 17, 2004 Am I Getting Paid? ...sort of. As you fucks know, I'm a dedicated employee of Gamestop. What you probably don't know is that I'm barely getting paid. I'm getting paid minimum wage - $5.15 an hour. That's not at all a lot. I went from a measly $5.50 an hour at a movie theater, to a pathetic $5.15 an hour. My Job is basically a salesman: I go all out in order to make a customer buy the things that'll make the company profit. For example, instead of getting them to pay $49 on a brand new game (supporting the makers of that game and all), I'll try to get them to buy the $40 used copy (the makers get no compensation from it, we make about a $25 profit). That sort of shady business - however, to the customer it's not shady at all...in fact, it's a damn good deal. Regardless, I have sold my soul to Gamestop at an extremely cheap price. Do we get any compensation off the sales that happened solely because of our skills as salesmen? Nope. Instead we get a pat on the back, a "good job," and a "remember to tell them they can trade in their old games next time!" How wonderful (sarcasm). Last week, I finally got my cash from all the training I did a while back. I expected a check. That seems to be the trend of things - you work so many hours, they'll give you a check that you can deposit into your account. Case closed. Well...I found out, there is no case, there is no check! They handed me an ATM card. A fucking ATM card. I don't want a fucking ATM card, I want a goddamn check! So, there's this "virtual" bank, that stores all the cash I make into this "virtual" account. Everytime I want cash, I'm gonna have to go to an ATM and get money out. After each pay check, I can get money out for free once...but after that, they'll charge me an extra $5 everytime I make a withdrawal! That's fucking bullshit. All of my money is still in my fake-as-fuck bank account until my lazy ass figures out how to make them directly deposit the money into my REAL checking account. I'm a lazy fucker. I have a good job, but the pay is lousy. Not only is it lousy, I have to access the cash in a lousy way. I haven't done it yet because I'm a lazy motherfucker that prefers checks.
¶4:56 PM
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Friday, June 11, 2004 I've been busy...working at Gamestop. Sure you guys probably think the store is an EBGames rip-off, YOU'RE WRONG! Gamestop has been in business for 10 years now (EBGames has been out for only 5 or so). The last 3 days, I have been working 12-hour days - very hellish hours. But it's fucking worth it...I worked 45 hours this week. One week alone; that's good stuff. So once the store opens up and we hire some more employees to steal some of my hours, posts 'll be more consistent. And thanks fuckers for the site finally reaching 4000+ hits. Their is lots of things to come; I better be celebrating 5000 very soon.signed -- one heterosexual flaunting motherfucker ¶4:02 PM e-mail me (0) comments Sunday, June 06, 2004 Hey Chick! Stop taking your depression out on my penis.I'm tired of going up to the mall, and seeing the girls with the low self-esteem parading around with their tits out, or with their pants (or skirt) exposing their asscrack. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. They jump all over every guy they see (yes, even me) and force heavy sexually innuendo-d conversations while sometimes allowing the groping of their breast. OR, these chicks sit in the laps of these guys and tease the fuck out of 'em. It's just not right at all! But it happens. I wonder if it's merely a coincidence that these girls are usually between the ages of 14-17? I wonder if their parents are aware of what their children are wearing, or what kind of people these adolescent whores are hanging out with? It just doesn't make any sense the way they act (and how they dress). This one time, this chick whom I barely even know said, "catch" and basically jumped on me. She expected me to catch her, so I did what every guy would do - I caught her. She wrapped her legs around me, and slid down to the ground (giving my crotch a thorough brush over). Sure it excited me and flooded my head with thoughts of raping her - a consensual rape of course (read that article; there's no relevance, but it's an interesting thought) - but I sure as fuck felt sorry for her.  Basically this is what I'm saying: chicks who believe that in order to socialize with the opposite sex they've gotta do it in a sexual manner usually have low self-esteem. It's a highly arousing, yet horrible trend that's happening all over the country. And in particularly, in public locations like malls or movie theaters. (Whoops, I can't be "flaunting my heterosexuality" around...people might think I'm gay, hardy ha ha - read the comments section.)  Is it ever going to stop? Fuck no it's not. It can all be attributed to Brittany Spears, Christina Agjkasdflkg, all of the whorey pop stars. "They dress slutty and make guys drool; thus, they get attention...something I don't get at all. I hate myself" -Depressed Teen Bitch. Thank jihad for Avril...she's proof that guys can get boners from chicks who respect themselves just as easily as chicks who love to physically "flaunt their heterosexuality" (har har, I said it again). So like the title says...stop taking your depression out on my penis you fucking sluts!! ¶3:57 PM e-mail me (9) comments Wednesday, June 02, 2004 Wanta Fanta motherfucker? "The Fantanas are coming!" Possibly the gayest jingle ever created. It goes something like this: wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wanna wanta fanta...don't-cha wannaJesus fucking christ! Everytime I see that fucking commercial on, it doesn't make me "wanta fanta," it makes me "wanta shoota bulleta ina mya heada." Just imagine what the guy said when he pitched the idea. Okay, let's get 4 hot models, dress each one up in a different color, and have them crash into walls and shit to where ever people are depressed and suicidal. Oh! And how about this! Let's have this sexy bitches hold a bottle of Fanta so the people watching the commercial will understand this messages: it's not the half naked sexy-as-fuck models who are making these various disabled/miserable/handicapped/semi-gay men feel better, it's totally because of a bottle of Fanta! Who cares about rationality because people who would drink Fanta are as dumb as a cup of piss....har, har, har. And then there's the fucking jingle! Oh my jihad, what the fuck is wrong with America. This company wasted all of that money by creating these dumbass commercials! Honestly, all a business needs to do is show their product and tell us why it's good. Fuck that stupid ass jingle, and [literally] fuck those sexy ass models. Do I wanta fanta? Hell fucking no I don't! Stop polutting television with your fanta-propaganda. ¶12:57 PM e-mail me (26) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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