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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
"Library" Is Synonymous With "Hell's Toilet"I fucking hate the library! It's horrible in there. When I'm studying there, I feel like time itself has halted to a screeching stop, and my life is a meaningless vessel for cow dung. Better yet, salty dolphin dung. There really isn't anything to do there, except study - I guess that's why it's awful. If you go to the library, you're going to get work done. You can't help it. There's just something about it that makes you desperately need to complete your homework. You see tons of your fellow college mates there, delligently working, so it's peer pressure I guess. (Everything can be rooted back to peer pressure.) So you're there with other student, but you usually don't know any of them. You're a stranger among strangers. There's somethign frighteningly uncomfortable to just be "some guy" or "some girl" working in the library. In the library, you have no identity. You're a nobody. All of your greatest fears of being alone and miserable come true in Hell's Toilet (I'll refer to the library as that from now on). In Hell's Toilet, nothing is sacred. Because nothing is anything. Nothing is everywhere and everything. You look around, you see lots of things, but it's all shit to you. There's no meaning. Fuck the dewie (probably spelled wrong) decimal system, because who really checks out any of those cunting books anyway? No one. You look around, and you see lots people but they're all shit to you. You never know anybody. Okay, every once in a while you'll see someone, but rarely. In Hell's Toilet, everyone is no one, and everything is nothing. It's pretty demented right? It's absolutely frightening to have to be in Hell's Toilet for hours at a time, so what do you do? You do homework. You do lots of homework.That's the real reason why most folks go to the library to get work done. Nothing is everywhere there, so you've gotta do something. I fucking hate Hell's Toilet. There's nothing but a lot of shit in there. It's funny how you're most productive when you're floating on one of those turds in that hellish toilet, stranded and all alone. I'm surprised there aren't more library shootings in the world. The library is just as sadistic as the post office. Just as sadistic as rooms with tons of cubicles in it. As sadistic as being in middle school and having a bully push you onto the floor weekly because you're trying to learn. I truly hate going to the library because repressed memories start making unwanted cameos within my thoughts, but I need to take a shit in Hell's Toilet in order to keep making passing grades. Sigh. And for the hundredth time, NO I'M NOT HIGH! ¶8:24 PM e-mail me (3) comments Sunday, November 28, 2004 My Horrible ThanksgivingAtleast that's what you wanna hear...right? About how horrible it was spending time with family and friends. How with every passing second, I wished I was back in my humble abode in Charleston. Well, this time it wasn't so terrible. (Wanna hear of one of my terrible Thanksgivings, read this and this.) Hmmm, after reading those poor excuses for entertainment, I really haven't had a horrible Thanksgiving since this site was up. That's fucking odd. You'd think I would hate it here, hate being told what to do, and hate having a "we-give-you-shit-to-work-here" job. I do hate those things, just not over Thanksgiving holiday. You see...it's the quiet before the STORM OF DOOM!!!!!!! Final Exams that Satan himself wrote. That's right folks. If I were a Christian, I would either say "every hardship I encounter is Satan trying to tempt me" [or some shit], or "...God wanted your mom to chop of her fucking head off because it's apart of his greater plan." Note: My mom didn't do that, but I hope it's in God's plan for Frodo and his entire family to do that - praise God. And yes, when I used 'his' to refer to God, I used a lower-cased 'h'. What are you gonna do about it?...punk! - praise Allah. Sorry, I got off topic. I do that too much. You would think after doing this shit for almost 3 years, I would be able to focus on a single topic per post, but Noooo! I have to get off subject and go off on wild rants about things that will never change. Dammit. By discussing how I shouldn't go off on rants, I went off on a rant.Okay, new paragraph. THANKSGIVING! Glorious Thanksgiving holiday. I made an effort to visit all the friends I consider my "bestest friends in the whole wide Anderson." So, if I didn't visit you, BURN IN HELL you fucker! Stop spreading rumors about people (or raping them) and then expecting me to befriend you indefinitely!! You cunt! Yeah, I was basically talking about most of my graduating class (and a couple of fucks here and there who attempted to make me "a sad panda). HA HA! Victory is mine. For I am, and have been throughout High School, a happy panda with a big black cock. I had good times catching up on these people's lives, but at the same time it sucks being away from them about 80% of the year. There's always the possibility that they'll change into a totally new person, and will blow me off (um, interpret that anyway you see fit). It's necessary to keep checking in on the friends you respect the most, just to ensure a lifetime bond. Wow, "lifetime bond." It's weird that I'm thinking like that now. But shit! I'm 20 now. You gotta think about shit differently as you get older. Awesome! That scene in Lord of the Rings Return of the King when that stewart (probably spelled wrong) was lit on fire and then jumped off that fort was seen by my eyes once again...sweet. I'm just gonna make an effort to maintain these types of friendships, that's my point. And, I suggest you people should do the same. Don't treat your friendships like their no big deal. As you get older, you'll get lonelier (especially if you don't have a vagina to fuck at will). //End todays lesson. Sorry, didn't mean to lecture. Fuck shit damn. Yeah, you like that don't you? Shit Fuck damn. Cock Cunt Assbag. Jesus tity fucking Christ (I wanna see Team America again). Yeah, you want more? Finger fucking 12 year old cunts. Hmm, I think that's enough. You know, some people take what I say literal. And you should. 'Nuff said. I hope I don't go to jail for that, lol. Okay, FAMILY. I actually called up family members and desired to hang out with them. This is the first time I've missed my family. It's a huge ass family too. My dad has 6 sisters, and my mom has 3 brother and 3 sisters. That's a lot of cousins (damn, I forgot how to spell 'cousin' so I had to look it up). Return of the King is awesome. So, I had thanksgiving dinner at one of my aunts cribs. I kicked it with fellow negroes united as one. Ah yeah ...nigga. So, family was good too (for a change). //Insert everything I said about friends here for family. Thanksgiving was pretty good. I feel old and Legolas just took down that fucking elephaaant. FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I can't wait until the Extended Version of ROTK comes out! I'm going to be cumming for days whenever I get it. So, Happy Motherfucking Thanksgiving. I hope yours was pretty good as well (but honestly, I could care less). Now it's time to fight Satan in a bare-knuckles fight using only short answers (and probably a blunt object). I'm going to pound his red ass hard with incomplete sentences. His ass is mine. His ass is going to be so red, it'll look green. Something for you to think about...Is a penis considered a blunt object? ¶11:34 AM e-mail me (2) comments Sunday, November 21, 2004 Addicted To Games: part 2There's an addiction that's quickly infecting millions of people across America. Is it bigger than crack? Yes. Bigger than alcohol? Hell yeah. Bigger than masturbation? Honestly, can any addiction be worst than masturbation? I'll just cut to the chase...buying video games. That's right kids; the harmless act of dishing out your hard-earned cash to play a game on your preferred gaming console(s). Camel, Winston, Salem, Miller, Budweiser, Jack Daniels, June Bug (a local crack dealer in Charleston), Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft - all of these companies (or crack dealer) sell products that allow their consumer to relieve stress, kick it with homies, lose all all their inhibitions, and plunk down 100s of dollars per month. Okay, in the case of games, 49.99s of dollars per month, but that's still a buttload of money! Money that could have went towards feeding starving butt naked kids (and adults) in Ethiopia. Poor starvin' marvin.Three. That's how many games I've bought this month. Only three. Doesn't sound like a lot...right? Of course not! Three is a vaginaic number (Webster can suck my dick! I'll use my own adjectives). In fact, three of anything is totally pussified (and overused). 3 Spider-Man movies == PUSSIFIED (there should be 6). 3 Matrix movies == PUSSIFIED (there should have only been 1, the first one). I was trying to think of a human body thing that we have 3 of, but it seems Allah only likes us humans to have at most 2 of things (though occasionally, he gives guys 3 testicles...Allah is one sick sick terrorist). Well, games costs $49.99 each. You do the math. TOO SLOW! I'll do it for you. That's $149.97. That's so terrible! Why do you have to pay so much to get a new game? Sure, the developers put in a lot of hours making the game, but paying $50 for something you're not even guaranteed to like is ridiculous. And last time I checked, you can't return a game just because you didn't like it. Okay, maybe at Gamestop, but that's only when I'm working because I could care less about making profits for Gamestop (I'd rather make the customer happy rather than screw them over...most of the customers are guys, so I really don't want to screw them). 150 bucks! That's just wrong. Do you know how much crack I could get with that? How much marajuana? Jesus tity fucking christ (Team America reference), how much alcohol? So why does America seem to think video gaming is a healthy addiction? I'm speaking with experience here - playing a video game can be just as mentally stimulating as smoking marajuana or getting drunk. But of course, it depends on what video game genre I'm talking about. So let's get more specific. Grand Theft Auto. When I had that game, I was addicted to killing people. I would spend hours and hours killing people - I would get "high." With every person I shot and killed, I would shit out a brain cell. Thanks god I wear underwear. But really, that's the sort of thing I'm trying to get at. As I get my game on, the world around me fades away. All I can think of is how fun the game is, and getting that high score, or winning the round, or finding that fucking key, or jumping from this platform to that platform, etc. As you play a game, you experience a distorted reality, and you just sit there and melt away. Sounds an awful like getting high off of marajuana doesn't it. Of course, smoking, drinking, MacDonald's food, it can all fuck up your body. Brain and all. But can you fuck your body up playing video games? Fuck yeah you can. Try this: sit on your ass for about 4 extra hours every single day for an entire month (don't change your diet or anything) - I'm sure your ass will expand. Sure, in other countries, obesity is sexy. But this is America! If you're fat, you're the ugliest thing known to man, in America's opinion (I could care less). America hates getting fat, being addicted to video games makes you gain fat, so is video gaming a healthy addiction? (DDR excluded...I would argue that DDR is a lifestyle, not a video game.) Finally, a video game addiction is just as costly as being addicted to a various substances. I REPEAT! $150!!!!!!!!!!!! Crack rock from June Bug, some cigs (yeah, I'm gansta...I'm so gansta I call cigarettes "cigs" nigga). I could have bought a fleshlight to feed my other unhealthy addiction to masturbation - at least while masturbating, you're burning off a lot of calories. America's views on what are healthy addictions vs. harmful addictions are totally fucked. America seems to think the habit of smoking cigarettes is worst than shooting up heroine, or sniffing crack, or even alka-seltzer (alka-seltzer kills). Yeah, I was talking out of my ass through most of this post. It would take up too much of my time to actually think things out. Though, some valid arguments are sporadically thrown in here. ¶3:58 AM e-mail me (4) comments Addicted To Games: part 1You know how many games I have (for PS2 and GameCube)??? About 11, plus or minus 5. Out of that, you wanna know how many I conquered? Only 1, Metroid Prime. That' so pathetic. Here's what happens: A BRAND-SPANKING NEW GAME comes out, and I've gotta get it!!! It's a must-buy. I then play it for a while, but then I get tired of it. It gets old fast. And, it's not with any game genre in general, it's with all games. I just lose interest. But as soon as a new game comes out, do I wait until I beat all the games I already have? Nope. I become the dumbest motherfucker in the world, and buy it. It's really sad.My god. There are so many awesome games that are soon to be released or already out. I would be one one broke ass negro if I were to get all these cool games. Well, not just "cool games" but THE BEST GAMES THIS GENERATION OF CONSOLES WILL HAVE TO OFFER UNTIL THE NEXT GENERATION OF CONSOLES!!!! (With the exception of the new Zelda game coming out for gamecube next year.) The following are games I'm going to buy...eventually. The ones in red are games I've already bought. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - Finally the GTA game that GTAIII and GTA: Vice City should have been. Guilty Gear: Isuka - I love it, but Guilty Gear X2 is a lot better. *cough* Fable ....it sucks!!!!!!!!!! "This is going to be the best RPG ever created" is what the director said, and now that it's out, a lot of people are saying Final Fantasy X-2 was better. Now that's just sad. The reason I say it sucks is because they made all of these promises, and hardly any of those promises made it into the gold master of the game. Metroid Prime 2!!! - it's fucking awesome, read the review. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater!!! - to be even more predictable and repetitive, it's fucking awesome, read the review. Rachet and Clank 3 - eh Jak and Daxtor 3 - whatever, eh Oh! I almost forgot, Halo 2 - my friend said its single player was a joke. It took him 2 days to beat on Normal. They were promising this awesome long single player experience, and delivered a short but sweet piece of shit. If it wasn't for its multi-player, Halo 2 would just be a generic 1st person shooter. Why the fuck is Metroid Prime (and Metroid Prime 2) so underrated, and Halo (and Halo 2) is so overrated! I just don't understand this shit. Half-Life 2 - if I had a PC, I would buy this in a heartbeat. It looks beautiful. Resident Evil 4 Paper Mario 2 Baiten Keaton Spider-Man 2: Widescreen - yeah, I know it's not a game, but WTF. It's my favorite super hero movie, and it comes out Nov. 30th. Can't fucking wait to own this super bad mofo. "Bad mofo" as in "dirty slut." "Dirty slut" as in good. THE NINTENDO DS!!! - fuck the expensive, proprietary, fragile PSP. Sure the DS is going to be proprietary (in terms of only playing DS and G.boy games), but not as bad as PSP. If you're going to make something that plays video, you should at least give owners a way to look at their own movie files that they've Are there any games that are coming out soon that you wanna buy? Talk back in the comments section. You can post anonymously (and leave an alias in the message). ¶3:57 AM e-mail me (4) comments Thursday, November 11, 2004 Discriminated For Wearing Shorts.(Throughout the post, I'm going to randomly insert things that us black folks stereotypically say.)Nigga please. Yesterday, it was pretty fucking cold outside; It was around 50 degrees F. plus or minus 10 degrees. I had some homework to rush and do because I had procrastinated the night before. I finished just in the nick of time (whatever that means), leaving me about 10 minutes to get dressed, take a shower, take a shit and wipe my ass out, etc. Well, I decided that 10 minutes wasn't going to be enough time to do it all. hey HEY hey. I had a pair of shorts lying around... Why do we say "a pair of pants" or "a pair of shorts" whenever we're referring to, um, 1 pair of pants or 1 pair of shorts? Saying, "I bought a pant yesterday at Baby Gap" doesn't sound that wrong...does it? Yeah, nevermind, it sounds awful. The words "pants" or "shorts" are one of the few nouns in English who's singular form is also its plural form. Am I the only person that speaks English who finds this weird? Child, I need some fried chicken.Okay, so I had a pair of shorts lying around. Not just any short, the most comfortable short ever (yeah, "short" doesn't sound right neither). Walking around in these shorts feels like walking around naked (assuming you're wearing loose boxers). I only had 10 minutes to go to class (and a majority of my clothes haven't been washed in 3 weeks), so fuck it, I decided to put 'em on. God they felt so good. With every step I took, it felt like I was getting a handjob from a Korean hooker. A female Korean hooker with a mole next to her asymmetrical nose. And she spoke with a thick accent. Her hair smells of warm sushi with a touch of wasabi. Mmmmm. Ahhhh Yeah. And then I put my very very well used Old Navy fleece on (because when you're wearing that beast, you can pretty much wear any shirt up under it; I put on a shirt that I wore the day before). Anyway, it was time to go to war. I put my book bag on, and stormed out like a starving retarded kid that smells food. I left my room, and walked into the common's area. Matt was sitting out their. Matt: "Hey, it's cold outside. You're going to be cold." Me: "Yeah, I know." And that was the end of it. As I was walking to class, I would get these looks. Stares that screamed out, "YOU DUMBASS!!" Why are these people calling me a dumbass with their eyes? You'd think that would be hard to tell someone, since eyes usually aren't audible. Give me my money bitch. I met up with someone I knew on the way. You'd think the first thing he would say would be, "Hey, what's up?" Or something equivalent. But no... Him: "Whoa, aren't you cold?" Me: "No, not really." And then we said our goodbyes: Him: "Later." Me: "Later." Sure, I noticed mostly everyone were wearing pants, but why should they care if I decided to wear shorts? Oh SHIT! Why does everyone think I'm a dumbass for wearing shorts when it's cold? They should mind their own goddamn business. [fast forward] I made it to Japanese class finally. We be big pimpin' nigga. It took a total of 60 seconds, plus or minus 2 seconds. When I walked in, everyone in the class (only 8 people) were looking at my shorts, and then my face, and then my shorts [rinse and repeat]. Annoying Dumb Girl: "Aren't you cold?" I wasn't cold because I'm inside a fucking building now!!! Isn't that common sense? Sure I was the only one wearing shorts, but that doesn't mean anything is wrong with me!!! Holla Back Wody. Me: "Nope, I'm good." Another Annoying Dumb Girl: "Man, it's freezing outside. Last night, our power went out, and we had to crowd around a kerosene heater." Me: (w/ an indifferent look on my face) "Okay. That's cool." Annoying Dumb Girl: "Yeah, I wish I could wear shorts. It's so cold." I really like it when people patronize me. [say the following without pauses.] It's so much better than just shutting the fuck up and minding your own goddamn business because you're just a stupid ass dumb cunt that thinks you're better than me because you wore pants instead of shorts. Me: "Shorts rock." It seemed like everywhere I went, I would have to endure this same conversation with everyone I encountered. Either I would have this conversation when people stared at me, or vocally. What is it with people and the matter of being under-dressed for the weather (Or over-dressed). Why do people care? I can remember this very same thing happening to me while I was in middle school. I was always one of the last people to give in to the weather and wear shorts. But that's only after being traumatized from people always thinking there was something wrong with me. Yessa Massah I would always get verbally assaulted by the ignorant black folks: IBF #1: "Why is you wearing shoets tahday? It's cold." Me: "Because I wanted to." IBF #1: "I bet you one cold ass negro." Me: "Not really." IBF #1: "Hey Joonbug, get ovah heeya!" IBF #2: "What niggah?" IBF #1: "Look at this dumbass right heeya." And then they would get more over to where I was, and basically point and laugh. Lots of fun. Me: "Okay...I'm going to go over there, so I can go back to being alone like I was." IBF #1: "Whatever stupidass." And that would be the end of it. Yep! Good-times indeed; it makes me happy to have to put up with the same bullshit once again in college. That is whack! ¶2:32 PM e-mail me (4) comments Sunday, November 07, 2004 The Rage of Frodo: The Letter.jpg) This is Frodo's belligerent letter of DOOM. Just in case you are too lazy to read the entire story below, I'll summarize it. The common's area supposedly looked liked shit in Frodo's opinion. Twice, he has left letters telling us to "clean our shit up" as he insulted us. Needless to say, we really didn't appreciate it and thought it had to be a joke - he couldn't seriously think we would happily do the dew as he called us nasty pieces of shit. So we basically ignored his request. And with this letter in particular, everytime I saw some trash laying around, I would put it on top of this letter; you know, adding to the joke. But we later found out that it wasn't a joke. Frodo eventually started hollering at us, insulting us more, and we were laughing our asses off at how he was overreacting. Jabre intervened, Frodo told him to "shut the fuck up" or something, [insert more insults], then *Bam! They were fighting. Currently, there's tension in the room...Stephen, Jabre and I could care less however. We used to ignore him prior to this incident, but we kind of sympathized for the guy. Now he's just a dirty cunt to us. We're not only back to ignoring him as usual, but we've lost a lot of respect for the guy. For more details, read the entire story below. ¶1:35 PM e-mail me (0) comments Saturday, November 06, 2004 The Rage of FrodoThere has been a lot of drama that has occurred over the past 3 days involving me, my friends Stephen (roommate) and Jabre, and my suitemate - let's just call him Frodo. Let's call Frodo's roommate Matt, because that's his name. Before I tell you how badly out of hand things got around here, let me set it all up for you. Brace yourselves folks, this is going to be a long post.In the beginning of any college year, everyone's happy and excited about meeting new people and experiencing new more interesting narcotics. With your suitemates, you say, "hey what's up!" or "how's it going" or something very similar to that. Basically, you say something to let the other person know you're acknowledging their existence and you're considering befriending them. I did this with both Matt and Frodo - I didn't discriminate or anything. I'm all about equal opportunity. Matt was cool, and behaved as a normal human being; he would say, "nothing much" back in returned and then occasionally initiated one of these seemingly useless interactions. Frodo, on the other hand, would answer with a "nothing much," but then act like he didn't give two shits about me. He would never start up one of these seemingly useless interactions with me; it was always I who started the talking. He would not make any effort what-so-ever to try and get to know me...he wouldn't talk to me at all. However, Matt and I improved on what we had to say to one another, and finally a friendship began to blossom. Meanwhile, the relationship between Frodo and I worsened to point where we completely ignored each other's existence - why? Because it became obvious to me that Frodo did not intend to make an effort to talk to me. Not just me, but Stephen as well. This is when I started feeling sorry for him. Maybe he just doesn't know how to meet new people. Afterall, he's just a freshmen, maybe it's taking a while for him to adjust to these new living conditions. During my freshmen year, I kind of acted as he was acting; just disconnected from everybody, and craving the comfort of hanging out with folks I already knew. So, I could relate. It was just funny how he went out of his way to ignore me. I followed suit. "If this is the way you want it to be, then so be it" is what I thought. Whenever Jabre and I were doing something in the common's area we would laugh at how he ran from his room to the door to exit the room. Okay, he didn't run, but he looked down while he walked; he was just trying his hardest to block us out of his view. It was funny stuff! Jabre and I would compare him to a cockroach that scampers in fear from the light. In the beginning of the semester, we filled out this thing called a suite contract. It's just a retarded way to force everyone in the suite to talk to each other about what pisses them off - you know, what not to do. One of my annoyances was not only the slamming of the doors, but also how someone would frequently put the thermostat on 80 or 60 degrees at any given time. 60 degrees was freezing! It was utterly cold. I would wake up shivering, which would lead to me skipping my 8AM class. 80 degrees was blistering hot! I would wake up at 4AM in the morning soaked with sweat and suffering from asthma (I have asthma). So yeah! That sucked ass. So at this meeting, I told everyone not to slam the goddamn doors after 12AM when I'm probably sleeping, but also to keep the temperature between 75 and 65 degrees. Well, someone still continued to put the temperature on either 80 or 65. I confronted Frodo: Me: Who's putting the temperature on 80? Frodo: What? Me: Yeah, 80 degrees is a little too hot. Frodo: Oh. Sometimes I use the thermostat in the dark, and can't see what I put it on. (He said something like that.) Notice I didn't insult him at all. Because normally, when you want someone to do something for you, it's not a good idea to offend them. Sounds like common sense right? Well, this little talk didn't get the problem solved. He still continued to put it on 60 degrees. 60 degrees equals cold-as-a-motherfucker. So to perpetuate the silent treatment Frodo was doing vs. everyone else, I wrote a letter and taped it above the thermostat. This is what it said: Could you please not put the thermostat on 60 degrees? Try to pay a little more attention to what you're doing. Sure, it was a little condescending, but again, I wasn't using profanity to insult nor offend. Did Frodo listen to my request? Yeah, sort of. He still tends to put it below 65 degrees sometimes, but he's just a hobbit, I can forgive him. You see, I'm mature (now) - sometimes you just gotta let things go (more on that later). NOW THE FUN BEGINS - [insert something witty so that people aren't bored out of their minds by this point] Jabre, Stephen and I frequently have movie-night on the weekends in the common's area. We usually order food from somewhere. We usually leave some sort of minor mess, however nothing serious. Nothing to fight over (more on that later). Usually a 20oz. bottle here, a plastic bag there, maybe a piece of candy that fell in the floor, etc. Normally we would clean up after ourselves, but sometimes we would forget to. Things would pile up. Well, someone left a letter in one of the 20oz. bottles saying this: You guys need to clean up your shit! That's pretty much what it said; I'm pretty damn sure it had a "shit" in there. Us guys thought it was a joke. How can something like that be taking seriously? We honestly thought Matt wrote it, since Frodo has never really talked to us. We cleaned "our shit" up at our own discretion. We even played around with the sign, sticking it in other bottles and just making fun of it. Again, we thought it was a joke, so we took it lightly. Afterall, why the fuck would a guy make such a big deal out of the minor mess we had in there? By our standards, and I'm going by the standards of a heterosexual man, the common's area was pretty freaking clean to begin with. 2-3 Weeks Later... We never really thought much of that letter that was written to us a while back. I walked into the room one day, and smelled something. It was an overwhelming fragrance. It smelled like a nice flowery smell, but a gay smell nonetheless. It was sickening. I didn't notice at the time, but the common's area was spotless. I honestly didn't notice it for a good day or so. Why should I notice it? Why should I care if the common's area is clean or not? We don't ever have any guests over - just guys, and girls who could care less about how clean the room was. Afterall, it is a guy's common's area. Jesus. Anyway, the next day Stephen and I noticed a letter that was written and put on the table in the common's area. This is what it said: "You guys is some sloppy ass bitches." (note: that "is" is right) Man. When Stephen, Jabre and I say that letter, we all assumed it was Matt again who wrote it. We laughed, it was hilarious. We thought it was yet another hilarious Matt-joke. It made us proud of him for being so witty. We even laughed at the possibility that Frodo wrote it. "How could he possibly write that letter, look at how he used the word 'is' instead of 'are'...that sounds like something Matt would do." Yeah, that was rascist, but true. I'm black and Jabre's black, so we're allowed to make fun of black stereotypes. Stephen, unfortunately, wasn't allowed to laugh at that, so he's going to Hell (but that's another story). Just to repeat, we thought it couldn't possibly be Frodo, and laughed at that thought. So, seeing how the common's area was already clean, I decided to add to the fun. Whenever I had trash that I would have normally put in my trash can, I would throw it on top of the letter. After another day, it looked horribly great!!! I was going to continue to do it for several weeks because it was so freaking hilarious. Well, the day, Stephen and I were just sitting in the room relaxing - the door just happened to be cracked open. Well, guess who popped his head in... Samwise Gamgee? I wish. The puny, not-so-powerful, gay Frodo opened the door and said the following: Frodo: You guys are such ass. Who the fuck would put all this fucking trash on the table like that? You guys are slobs. Why is it so hard to pick up your shit whenever you drop it? Clean up your fucking shit. Stephen and I looked at each other completely bewitched. He was shouting all of that at us. He wasn't calm at all. Inside, I was laughing my ass off to learn that it was not Matt, but Frodo who wrote that letter. Little white Frodo writes in Ebonics. That was what was going through my head as I responded. I got up, and told him what was up: Me: Look, we thought Matt wrote that letter. We thought it was a joke. So I put more trash on it just to add to the joke. It was hilarious to us. Frodo: Well it wasn't. You guys need to grow up and stop acting like kids. You write these fucking letters instead of confronting me about issues, so I did the same. Me: You can't possibly insult us by calling us sloppy ass bitches and then expect us to do what you wanted us to do! When I wrote that letter over the thermostat, I didn't insult anyway at all. I was nice. At this moment, he responded with insult after insult after insult. He was not only insulting me but Stephen as well. He was being a complete cunt, and I didn't appreciate it at all. I really wanted him to get the fuck away from me before something bad would happen so I said: Me: You know what? Just leave, right now. Go away. I don't won't to talk to you right now. I then walked in my room, and shut the door. He just wasn't doing a good job communicating in a mature kind of way. He kept saying how childish we were for not cleaning up after ourselves; yet, he was the one coming at us with insult after insult like a pubescent little cunt would do. So fucking ignorant, so fucking naive. I had to tell Jabre of what we just found out...it was so shocking. Jabre came over here, and I told him: Me:We finally found out who wrote the letter. Jabre: Who? Me: Frodo. Jabre: No way!!! We both of us start laughing hysterically. Stephen comes out of our room and into the common's area where we were. We then tell Jabre everything that just happened. We all had a good laugh from it. So basically, when that cunt of a hobbit was cussing us out, I lost all respect for the guy. He really pissed Stephen and I off. Just knowing that he thought he could control us by insulting us; bull-fucking-shit. Jabre wanted to write a reply to his letter, I didn't care. We found a marker and this is what he wrote: That means alot coming from a boy w/ a small penis. You whore. So us 3 are in our room watching TV and relaxing - the door just happened to be cracked open. Well, guess who popped his head in again... Gandalf? I wish. The puny, not-so-powerful, gay Frodo opened the door once again, this time furious about what Jabre had written. Frodo: What the fuck is this shit? Why the fuck would you write that? What the fuck are you guys' problems? Again, I got up and tried my best to explain to this kid what he did wrong and what he should have done to prevent this all from happening. Me: Bottomline, you insulted us. Alright. Our idea of what is clean is different that what you consider clean. Frodo: There was a moldy fry on the fucking ground! You call that shit clean? Me: Honestly, it's just 1 fry! We probably couldn't see the fry on the ground! We were both raising our voices, Frodo was shouting as best a hobbit can shout though. Basically, his only argument was that moldy fry that he actually picked up himself, and put on top of the letter. Frodo: If you guys think that's clean, you must be the most disgusting human beings on the planet. So does that man Frodo is the cleanest human being in the world? Last time I checked, it wasn't me who picked that moldy fry off the floor and put it on the table. And I've seen his room - it's not very clean. Frodo was not only being a mindless cunt, he was being a hypocritical mindless cunt. Me: Look man, you're making me angry. I don't want to punch you. Bottomline, you offended us. So, do you think us arguing like this is going to make the situation better? Why are you still insulting us? How is that going to make us respect your wishes? I was trying to make him see how fucking insane he was acting. He wasn't listening to anything I was saying. He was trying to solve the problem, that started with him insulting us, with more insults. How fucking stupid can you be? How could the elves, and dwarves, and us men entrust the task of throwing the one ring into that volcano in mordor to this halfling if he can't even comprehend common sense? Where's Sam when you need him. Well, Jabre wasn't having it. He was hearing this guy insult his friends...insulting Stephen and I, and we weren't even insulting him back. He was completely out of place. So Jabre jumped into the argument. Frodo made another comment about how childish we were acting, and then Jabre replied with this: Jabre: You're the one who's childish, look at what you're doing. Frodo: This doesn't even concern you! You don't even live here. You need to shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here. Yeah, that pissed Jabre off big time. To try to help someone understand their fallacy and then to get cursed at by them... Jabre has a shorter fuse than I do. Frodo kept pushing Jabre's buttons, and Jabre snapped. He shouted: Jabre: I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU! Stephen and I were rattled, we never really heard him that angry before. I'm sure Frodo was freaking out, but instead of cowering in fear like a good hobbit, he just kept pushing his buttons. I told him to go to class (because he was late). I'm not saying he backed down and got scared, but he walked off to class muttering stuff to himself. Jabre said, "Yeah, you fucking faggot." Hmmm, that must of been Frodo's red button. Sure Frodo was close to Sam in an almost homosexual kind of way, but don't you dare call him a queer, he'll snap. Frodo charged at Jabre, and Jabre didn't back down one bit. I was between them preparing for impact. Well, they crashed alright. They were in full fight mode. I tried to pull Frodo off of Jabre, but he wouldn't back down. I heard 3 smacks, I didn't know who was hitting what. I could have used all of my force to pull Frodo off, but Jabre had him in a headlock! I didn't want Frodo to get hurt, even though he instigated it all. After a while, Jabre let go, and some more words were exchanged. Frodo stormed out and slammed the door. *SLAM MOTHAHFUCKAH! When Frodo left, we were all laughing. Sure I was shaking from the adrenaline, but it was cool. Jabre told me he managed to nail him 3 times in the head, so that's where the 3 smacks came from. Of course, that could have been resulting from me holding Frodo - he really couldn't move his arms. It wasn't 2 on 1 at all, I was just trying to break the two up. I thought Stephen would try to pull Jabre off, but he was like a hard cock - stiff and barely moving. Overall, I got a bruise on my forearm, and some of my skin got scraped off from when it was grinding against the door. All of us were laughing at how crazy Frodo was. How funny it was that he didn't understand why we reacted the way we reacted. You can't ask someone to do something by insulting them and calling them "the most disgusting human beings in the world," that's just retarded. He's just a stupid hobbit "that'll probably become a wife beater when he grows up" (someone else said that about him). Honestly, it wasn't that messy in the common's area. And to make as big a deal as Frodo did that day, you would have to be gay, no questions about it. Frodo is gay - big surprise there. He has a gay way of talking to people, gay gay gay. And I say that with all integrity. Frodo, you're a guy!!!! Statistically, heterosexual men do not care about a little trash here or there! Calm the fuck down about this shit and be a man about things. GROW UP! Back in the beginning of the school year, whenever Frodo kept fucking up the temperature in the suite, I didn't blow up and write notes insulting him. I didn't call him any names whatsoever. I toughed it out and dealt with it maturely. Just keep being persistent with it, and it'll work out. That's what adults usually do Frodo. Jabre understands that he was wrong to overreact like that; however, he won't make the first move and apologize because he doesn't (nor do Stephen and I) think he instigated it. Frodo is a freshmen, so it's understandable I guess. But he's just so belligerent that I'll probably never talk to him again. I've lost all respect for the guy. Any hope of any kind of friendship is gone. If he were to finally grow up and apologize for how naive he handled the situation, I might consider going back to just ignoring his existence like I did before this all happened. I repeat, where's Sam when you need him? I'll scan that letter and post it up soon. Within the next 2 days. ¶4:37 AM e-mail me (5) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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