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Monday, March 21, 2005
Get The Fuck Out Of The Way Stupid Cunts!I'm tired of girl groups made up of three or higher walking down the fucking street, and acting like their superior beings that are given the right to hog the entire sidewalk to themselves. They expect people to actually go around them. That pisses me the fuck off, so about 4 hours ago, I fought back. I was walking down the street, listening to my iPod shuffle, wearing my normal CofC hoodie that you guys always see me wearing on the webcam. This group of girls came storming my way. Like three fat vaginas who don't have a care in the world. It was Sex in the City with three huge vaginas. VAGINA! Um, so I came walking toward them and noticed that they're not gonna get the fuck out of the way...of course. In my head, I was thinking, "Fuck them, I'm not walking around those fucking cunts. They're either gonna get the fuck out of my way, or I'll make them get out of my way." So there it was; me versus three thunder cunts. Who won? I just kept walking, and looked straight at this chick. She tried to ignore my intensity by chatting amongst her friends, but nothing could avoid my deadly aura. It appeared that impact was inevitable.It happened. I collided with the dirty cunt on the right. I was a fucking rock too. For a split second I felt bad for what I had just did. I bumped into her like a brick wall, and she lost her balance and fell on one of the other nearly snatches to her right. I'm not even gonna lie - I didn't want her to fall. But shit! Get the fuck out of the way! I have every bit of a right to walk on this sidewalk as you, so stop being so goddamn greedy you fucking bitch! I was listening to music, so I couldn't tell if they had said anything in response to me. I just kept walking like a serial murderer who just returned from finishing his genocidal masterpiece (a.k.a. God). I was victorious. From this point on, those three cabbage patches are going to cower out of the way like crotch-craps escaping shampoo. This is only a beginning. Muahahaha. Things are going to change. Just you wait and see. ¶12:55 AM e-mail me (4) comments Friday, March 18, 2005 Thank God for MasturbationI just had the urge to thank the almighty Himself for giving me the tools I needed to pleasure myself sporadically throughout everyday of my life. I'd also like to thank him for giving me the tools I can use to kill anyone I please, or rape any organism that has the necessary hole to fit an above-average sized penis in it.Yes. Jesus died to further allow sinners to continue sinning, and the non-believers to continue not to believe. He allowed people, like Michael Jackson, to intoxicated small boys with "jesus juice" and then steal their innocence. He died to allow people I artistically respect, like Marilyn Manson, to express how it's truly shameful how greedy cocksuckers are making tons of money off exploiting the people who believe in you. Yes, not only did Jesus allow me to begin my zany masturbation adventures, but he allowed people, such as George Dubya Bush, to force an entire country to follow the strict ethics of his daddy's infamous book, the bible. Jesus died to allow a tsunami to kill thousands of people (afterall, God knew it would happen), among other tragedies. I hear God controls everything, and knows everything, but he also gives us the freedom to make our own choices. Huh? Well, I do believe we're free to make our own choices. So if God truly exists, he definitely doesn't give a rats ass about anything that we're doing down here. Deism to the extreme? I think so. The only way I can truly believe in God is if he really is a kid with an ant farm. Because in terms of Christianity, I just can't believe God would make all these tragic things happen. I like to think we have the freedom to make our own choices, therefore God is far far away not intervening with anything. But until I think this over, I'll remain a devout agnostic that masturbates a lot. ¶6:33 PM e-mail me (14) comments Thursday, March 17, 2005 My Donnie Darko FetishI saw Donnie Darko (theatrical version) for the first time during spring break (last week) over a friend's house. (Note: my DVD collection pales in comparison to this guy's ...he has at least 50+ more if you include TV shows.) Let me tell you, the first time you see this movie for the first time, you won't know what the fuck is happening until you sit there, and think to yourself for about an hour. You just gotta let it all sink in. It's probably the most complex plot you'll ever experience. If you thought Momento was horribly confusing, you haven't seen anything yet. I would enjoy discussing the specifics of the film, but I'd ruin it for you. Honestly, you'd be better off just watching it with a clean slate, like I did. Okay, what the heck, I'll give you a summary.Donnie Darko is your average teenager in high school - um, that just happens to be seeing a therapist because of his ambiguous history. Everything about his past is implied, never explicitly told. The same can be said about his relationships with everyone, and foreshadowing in general. Heck, even the plot is implied. Anyway, he eventually encounters a 6-foot tall bunny named Frank. Of course it's not really a bunny, but you'll learn more about that as you watch (if it isn't obvious to you, then you've got problems, lol). I hate how the back of every Donnie Darko DVD box says that Frank is a "demonic bunny" - that's far from the truth. In fact there is nothing demonic about this movie at all. Sure, it appears that dark things are occurring, but that's only because of this movie's clever cinematography. Yadda Yadda, there's some talk of time travel, and then stuff happens. That's pretty much all I can say without giving away anything, lol. Let's just say you'll experience some turbulence while you watch (pun intended). Do yourself a favor and watch the theatrical version before you dive into the director's cut (which is the version I bought a couple of days ago). The director's cut is more forgiving. It makes the concepts of Donnie Darko easier to understand (since in the theatrical, they really don't explain anything!!!). In the theatrical, things just happen ...and there really isn't a good explanation for those actions. It's left open to interpretation. Much like the Bible (which I think was something the director intentionally did). This movie means so many things to so many people - it has so many levels. If you want to go deeper into the story, it goes at least 3 levels deep. I'm so fucking impressed by Richard Kelly, I'm now putting him among the great directors of my time (i.e. - Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith, David Lynch, Peter Jackson, etc.) SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO RENT/BUY THIS MOVIE. ¶1:35 AM e-mail me (1) comments Sunday, March 06, 2005 I'm 21.Finally. I can buy beer. Finally. I can get into any bar now.But did I really want to do any of that stuff? Not really. At 18, when your of age to go into a strip club, did I ever check one out? No. I kind of wanted to, but I just hate getting teased. Especially when you're getting a blowjob, but the girl stops after 15 seconds ...WTF?! What's the point in going if you're just gonna get teased, while you and the friends who went with you feel uncomfortable because everyone has an erection. That doesn't sound fun at all. Of course it would be fun to be intoxicated at a strip club since you lose all your inhibitions; however, everyone knows you can't legally drink until your 21. Does that mean now I'll finally go check out a strip club? Probably not. I will whenever my Anderson (SC) friends pressure me into going to one, but that'll probably never happen. And at 17 (or 18, depending on who you ask), when your of age to go see a rated R movie, did it really matter? I have been watching rated R movies since I was at least 14 years old. Most parent's allow their children to watch rated R movies when they are much younger. One of the first rated R movies that I saw in theaters was True Crimes (at least I think that was rated R). I also remember going to see Aliens 3, Predator 2, etc. Mainly action movies. This was all pre-17 for me. So, when I turned 17, I couldn't care less. The only good thing that came out of me turning 17 was the ability for me to work in the movie theater. But, if you've heard my infamous adventures working there that ended with the controversy of me either getting fired or not re-hired (not really sure which it was), then you'd know it was probably not a good thing. When I was 14 or 15, I made a pact with myself to get laid when I'm 16. 5 years ago, I turned 16. Even though I had a nice cock (side-note: when a man turns 16, that's the age in which he realizes that he has a big tool between his legs that can be used for vaginal destruction), I honestly couldn't find any girl that complimented me. Plus I was still traumatized from the girlfriend I had while I was between 13 and 15 years old (long story). So, I didn't get laid. And to this day, I'm still an unused water hose just waiting to wash the dirt off a fertile diamond shaped car...um, with a hole in it. Just haven't found the right car. Even though being 16 sucked, I still felt older. The same goes with turning 17 and 18. They seemed meaningless, but at least I felt older. There was a change in my mentality. 10, 13, 16, 17, 18 ...when a person's age increments to one of these (sorry, I'm a computer science major), you feel it. Fuck turning 14, 15, 19, 20 ...they are truly meaningless ages. The real question is "Do I feel 21?" The answer is yes. 21 is one of the many ages in which you actually feel older. Yes, it does seem meaningless, since I have been drinking since I was an 18 year old freshmen. However, in the blink of an eye, all of your friends in the 18 to 20 age group instantaneously seem a LOT younger. Yes...it doesn't matter how much younger they now seem, they are still the same people they have always been. My point is that is becomes completely obvious how old you are versus them. I'm starting to feel like an adult hanging out with kids, which is completely fucked. It's inane to think just because you're a couple of years older than someone that you're superior to them. But I can't hinder these arrogant emotions I'm having. Maybe it just comes with the territory; maturity, responsibility, morals (blah blah) - these are the presents that we are subconsciously giving to use as we get older. At 21, you're giving tons of this junk. That's why I feel as if I'm 21 ...as if I'm a lot older now TO THE EXTREME! P.S. - In particular, it sucked turning 21 on a Sunday. In South Carolina, you can't buy alcoholic beverages on a Sunday. What kind of stupid shit is that? Is it suppose to honor the Christian's day to worship their God? A true Christian would worship their God everyday, so I don't see the point in making it a law not to drink on Sunday (or why most places are closed on Sunday). Sure, I think it says somewhere in the bible not to work on Sunday, but just think about how much money businesses could make if they were open on Sunday! Right after church, those silly Christians go to the movie theater, go eat dinner at a restaurant, even go to Gamestops. Oh yeah, what I really wanted to say was: I WANT TO GET DRUNK GODDAMMIT! I hate living in the bible belt. I'm definitely moving first chance I get. Can't deal with this bad-tasting conservatism with a touch of christianity any longer. It gives me gas. ¶10:56 PM e-mail me (3) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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