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Saturday, April 23, 2005
The Picture That Made A Friend and Me Laugh Our Asses Off In Classnote: that's the longest title I have ever used.Yeah, I was reloading the pictures on the front page of godfuckingdammit.com in the middle of class. I was basically showing of the site to a friend who was sitting behind me. Well the following picture just happened to load up. I looked at it and within 2 seconds, I closed that shit back up! I knew that if I were to look at it longer than 2 seconds, I would have fucking cracked up! With tears pouring out of my bloody eye sockets. The professor would have looked at me like I was some kind of fucked up kid on crack or something. Here's the photo:  Jesus fucking christ! It's probably the funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet. So within the 2 seconds of me seeing it and closing it, I guess the friend who was sitting behind me had ample time to see it for himself... HE STARTED CRACKING UP! And automatically I came along for the ride. I tightly covered my mouth up with my hand to prevent a loud outburst of emotion, lol. And because I was in a situation where it isn't cool to laugh out loud, it only makes you want to do it even more so. Wow. Everyone was looking at us, and our professor looked at us like he had said something wrong. Later I felt guilty. When I saw my professor later on that day, I apologized. The End. ¶7:41 PM e-mail me (1) comments Sunday, April 17, 2005 I Was a Victim of This 1.0http://home.elka.pw.edu.pl/~pgrabow1/kolezka.swf?name=KeddarisViewer Discretion is advised. So, change the name and surprise the fuck out of your friends. Ah yeah. ¶8:02 PM e-mail me (0) comments Noooooooo! Please tell me this is a joke."Gosh!" I so hate Napolean Dynamite. I so respect Steve Jobs (the co-founder of Apple Computers). How the fuck is this suppose to make me feel: WTF x 10^25!!!!!!! No, please, no. Just stop. You see Steve Jobs there? Again, WTF. I hope this is what he said: Um guys ...what the fuck is this shit? Who ever did this is getting fired! Like, right now. And then I'm going to hunt down your fucking family and stick an iPod up every one of their asses. Not just any iPod, but an 60Gig iPod Photo! The biggest one. And no, I'm not gonna stop there. I'm shoving an iPod Shuffle up each one of your pets' asses. Then, I'm going to get some gasoline, and spray it all over everyone (in the similar fashion Donnie Darko did). I'm gonna get my corporate helicopter, drag you guys in there ...fly up as high as possible and push every one of those fuckers out the door. *SPLAT MOTHAHFUCKAH!* I'll ride the helicopter back down to the ground, and then light everyone's flesh on fire! When your flesh is thoroughly cooked, I'm feeding you to my five deadly cats of doom: a cheetah (10.0), a puma (10.1), a jaguar (10.2), a panther (10.3), and a motherfucking tiger (10.4). YOU FUCKING BITCHES! Argh! Of course it's obviously a joke, but it's wicked (in the bad sense of the word). ¶7:43 PM e-mail me (2) comments Beer PeeGosh! It feels so good to pee after you've had 4+ beers. It's a very orgasmic feeling. Yes, I'm drunk right now. I was about to go to bed, but what do you know ...roommate's back. Eh, it doesn't matter. I feel good right now. I wanna pee again, but there isn't anymore of the stuff left in me. This makes Keddaris a sad sad drunken fool who wants to pee. Time to use the bathroom now, so I don't have to wait 30 minutes to use it after my roommate does stuff in there. Later. ¶1:18 AM e-mail me (1) commentsSaturday, April 16, 2005 *clicking heels* "There's no place like home." (x3)Have you ever felt extremely alone? Like know one around you understands you? Like you're a single blade of grass amongst a field of ugly wild flowers that were just shat (the plural of shit) on by fat demonic sumo wrestlers?I feel that way right now. I say "hey" to the many people I know here in chucktown, but each greeting makes me feel even more alone. Sure I know these people and they know me, but that doesn't mean jack shit. I was taking a walk alone all around Charleston, and discovered that the way I feel when I'm walking alone is the same way I feel when I talk to most of the "friends" I know here. There's still hope though. The new friends I've met this semester are starting to remind me of the feeling I get when I hang out with my friends back home. More than likely, my loneliness is a side effect of me being very homesick. My friends in Anderson, SC know me forwards and backwards. I really miss that. Me sad [and wishing I could jackoff to some porn right now to make the sadness go away, if only for 5-10 seconds at a time]. ¶9:03 PM e-mail me (1) comments Sunday, April 03, 2005 How do birds reproduce?A while back ( 2 weeks ago), the topic of how bird reproduce was brought to the table.I argued... "Birds have sex just like us! The male bird has a penis, and he inserts it in the female's whatever, and BAM! Semen and Egg unite as one."  He argued... "No dude, that's not what happens! The male bird doesn't have a penis, and the female bird doesn't have a vagina. I think the female bird lays an egg, and then the male bird sits on it. While he sits, he sprays his sperm all over the egg."  I argued... "That can't be what happens! If it was, then how would the sperm penetrate the egg's shell?" So yeah, we didn't fucking know. We were so upset because we were both 20-something years old (I'm 21!!!), and didn't know how birds reproduced. We were embarrassed by this, but put our pride aside and asked the people around us: how do birds reproduce, how do birds have sex, etc. A shameful revelation manifested - we asked about 6 people, and no one knew the answer! This leaded us to the conclusion that most people do not know how bird reproduce! Isn't that insane? We see birds everyday, and we even label talking to your kids about sex "describing the birds and the bees," yet we don't have any freaking idea how birds procreate. Utterly shocking. My friend eventually called his fiance (who also didn't know), and she was so intrigued by her not knowing how bird reproduce, she looked it up online for us (while we were waiting for our class), and told us. This is what about.com has to say about the sex life of birds: The male's sperm, produced in the testes, passes to the cloaca where it is stored until copulation (act of sex). The female also has a cloaca that leads from the ovaries. The female bird unfans her tail, moves it to one side while the male climbs up onto her back or gets close to her. Their cloacas are pressed together and the sperm moves from the male to the female.  So essentially, they male and female bird rub each others asses on each other. The female allows the male to spray his sperm all up in her shit, and fertilization occurs. The end. So hopefully I've helped others who were in a similar "dumb as shit" state of mind as I was. Wanna have fun? Right now, ask around and find out just how many people around your neck of the woods actually know the truth behind bird reproduction. And then laugh in their faces because their dumbasses. Because we all know laughing at people for being stupid is the American way. Ah yeah. ¶2:02 PM e-mail me (13) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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