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Sunday, September 25, 2005
The Essence of Pot: Volume 2 As Martha Stewart would say, "It's not a kitchen unless you have pots and bowls." A "bowl" or a bowl-type apparatus has been used to smoke mary jane for hundreds of years. HUNDREDS OF YEARS!!! In fact, the act of smoking pot or a pot-like substance predates Jesus probably. Yeah, I don't really know, but's cool to assume all of that. Besides, that's what Christians do - "It doesn't say smoking pot is illegal anywhere in the Bible, so let's just assume it does and incorporate that into our laws. Hail Hit...Jesus!!!" I've never done pot, however I do know bowls are fucking awesome! Unlike blunts, bowls burn the pot slower, which means more hits for all. Mmmmm, hits. There are alternative tools to use in order to get blazed. One such thing is called a gravity bong. Pot. It's everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I'm even starting to believe everyone who's anyone has seen or smelled it before. But for some fucked up reason it's illegal. I will never understand why alcohol, a drug that causes liver damage and is the cause of so many accidents by drunk drivers - AND, it's the cause of a lot of fighting and date raping - is legal. I will never understand why cigarettes, a drug that is proven to cause cancer and cause horrible things to happen to your lungs...a drug that is proven to be addictive, is legal. I will never understand why the fuck marajuana, a drug that has not caused one single death, a drug that mellows out even the most anal fuckers in America, a drug that makes music that would normally suck sound fucking amazing, a drug that causes artists (musical composers too) all around the fucking world to come up with beautiful works of art, a drug that would actually better our society as a whole ...why the fuck is it illegal? P.S. - Pretty much every other country in the world legalizes it to some extent. America fucking sucks. These goddamn conservative Christians are the cause of so much pain and misery here. There's suppose to be a separation of church and state, but I just don't see that. ¶11:22 AM e-mail me (15) comments Thursday, September 22, 2005 Being Alone With PeopleIt's a bizarre occurrence. When you're in a group of people, and you feel all alone. You talk to the people around, and they fucking ignore you. Or, you say something and they say something attempting to negate every fucking thing you said. I fucking hate that. It makes me feel like getting a fucking shotgun, and then shooting everyone one of those motherfuckers in their fucking heads. What the fuck? Why am I the one being ignored? Why the hell am I not being acknowledged? I just don't fucking understand. I'm backup. That's all I am. Whenever people don't have anyone around them to talk to, they talk to me. I just don't understand this.Of course, I make it completely obvious when I'm not interested in the stupid conversations these groups are talking about. And of course I say things that are relevent in an attempt to patronize everyone in a douche bag kind of way. But at least you can kindly say, "uh huh" or "yeah." Completely ignoring someone is one of the worst things you can do to somebody, and it's happening to me a little too fucking much. In fact, at this very moment, I'm sitting in the floor just bedazzled over how indifferent I'm feeling towards this group socializing stank. So indifferent that I'm going to leave. I can have plenty more fun sitting in a room by myself (maybe watching Alias), than sitting here pretending to be interested in what the group is conversing about. Fuck this shit. ¶8:10 PM e-mail me (2) comments Tuesday, September 20, 2005 The Essense of Pot: Volume 1 A college student's favorite past-time. Potheads all across the country will nut upon seeing something like this in person. Recent studies suggest that the use of marijuana is on the rise. Who did these studies? No one at all. It's just fucking obvious. If you're a college student who is fortunate enough to go to a somewhat liberal college, chances are you know someone who smokes the stuff (if you're not already smoking). And! You know someone who knows someone who sells the stuff. And! You know someone who knows someone who's growing the shit in their backyard. As of now, I know about 20 people who smoke it on a nearly daily bases, and I know 3 who deal. Now how the fuck did that happen? I'm not quite sure.  That's right. It smells so good it'll make you lick all the inanimate objects this thing resided on/in just like those dumb crazy bitches on those Axe commercials. Sure, I've huffed and puffed and blown the house down on several occasions [insert disclaimer] ...a long time ago - my sophomore year to be exact. Searching the Earth looking for content for my site, I stumbled upon a photo session with Ms. Green above. Let me tell you...Ms. Green is one sweet piece of ass. I'd hit that any day, and pass her around to my friends so they can take a hit of that nice green ass of hers too. Of course I didn't actually smoke any of Ms. Green, this is all theoretical rhetoric here. However, I did bust one gargantuan nut - somewhere between looking at a lava lamp while listening to pink floyd, and stumbling back to my dorm room forgetting my destination every 2 minutes. When a trip, that would take you 4 minutes normally, takes you 10 minutes to complete, that's when you know you've tapped one nice green pussy. Who knew setting a green bitch's pussy on fire will cause you to forget shit. And remember kids, don't do drugs. If a girl is green, it's obvious that you shouldn't fuck her. That's in the Bible somewhere I'm sure. ¶1:47 AM e-mail me (2) comments Sunday, September 11, 2005 Managing Two JobsAbout 2 weeks ago (yeah, it's old news), I was very enthused about working for Gamestop here in Charleston. I was gonna work in the library every Sunday from 9PM to 2AM, and then work at Gamestop during weekdays (and possibly Saturday) during the afternoon. Then I started thinking...something that was so obvious, I wonder now why it took me a fucking year to realize it. Working at Gamestop fucking sucks!!! What the fuck was I thinking? I was making minimum wage ($5.15) and I was only getting like 10 hours a week. Which translates to "I was a broke ass motherfucker" in Spanish. So the day before my scheduled FIRST DAY OF WORKING AT GAMESTOP IN CHARLESTON, I called those bitches up and told them the following:Um, I found a better job. I don't think working for you people would be in my best interest.They said they would have to terminate me, and I told them "sure, go ahead." How about that folks! I got fired from a job for the very first time. It felt so naughty, woe is me. The deep dark truth to the matter is I actually was offered a better job - on campus at that! A friend of mine said the place he works at is accepting applications at the moment. I was all over it! I went there as soon as possible, and turned in an application. A couple of days later, they told me to come in to fill more stuff out, and right there on the spot, they interviewed me! The job title is "Network Engineer." They hired me knowing I knew nothing about networking. They hired me with the intention of teaching me the ins and outs of networking. I'm basically getting paid to learn! It's a kickass job. Not only am I getting paid more than minimum wage, but I get to work on campus (a.k.a. less gas to pay for). It's Actually, at the moment I don't know how much I'm making, but I'm not doing it for the money ...I'm doing it for the chicks. Chicks dig network engineers. (If only you could see the level of sarcasm I've got painted on my face right now.) Yep, I've got two jobs. Working in the library on Sundays (goddammit, I missed the Family Guy premiere that came on tonight), and working as a Network Engineer. Life is good. No more Gamestop! No more stupid debates about the PS2 vs. XBox vs. Gamecube. No more stupid questions like how much is the PS2, is this game good, how much for [insert game name) THE FUCKING PRICE IN ON THE GAME BOX! THERE ARE FUCKING REVIEWS ON THE INTERNET! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!! And finally, no more selling those stupid discount cards and magazine subscriptions. Life is great. Update: For More On Why I Hate Gamestop, read Am I Getting Paid? ...Sort Of. ¶9:38 PM e-mail me (3) comments top September 2002 / October 2002 / November 2002 / December 2002 / January 2003 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / December 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / August 2006 / October 2006 / December 2006 / April 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / November 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 /
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